My parents taught me to respect my elders.
I don’t cuss in front of my grandparents, I always let an older person go first in line, and have been known to stop and help load groceries into the car of an elderly person. I am not perfect, far, Far from it, but I always try to respect my elders. With that being said…”the whore’s” mom is BAT SHIT CRAZY. I have honestly never met someone…another mother…who not only overlooks her daughters faults, but encourages them.
I think I was naive to her because, in my mind I pictured a poor little old woman, horrified by her daughters choices, and while embarrassed trying to help. Instead she was strangely proud of her daughter and the affair, and bragged to me how her daughter was a “better wife” to him than I would ever be.
Let’s go back a second to the morning following D-day, I was in shock, my whole world destroyed…. My children hadn’t been told, my husband was begging me to talk to him, and my father-in-law pulled up to my house (I had handed him the letter the night before, so he knew I was broken) came inside and found me in pjamas…face swollen from no sleep and massive amounts of crying, hair unbrushed…and said “we need to go look at calves and decide what we are breeding back to..” If you don’t know him this in his “way” means…my son has hurt you and I can’t change that, but I’m going to put you back together no matter what it takes cuz my Grandchildren need you, and I kind of “like” you too”…so I threw on some jeans and got in the feed truck with Lou.
If our calf “crop” this year is a little less than stellar? It’s “the whore’s” mom’s fault…she started angry texting my husband “tell your wife to leave my daughter alone, she is crushed and doesn’t need to hear about your life with her”…he forwarded it to me. “Why?” because he had tried to tell me the night before not to have contact with them, “they are both crazy” was his exact words. I didn’t believe him at the time, seriously who would? He had lied to me for two years, and had a relationship with her…I believed her more than him, so I listened and when she asked “her questions” about our marriage I answered.
Hard to believe, but at the time I wasn’t doing it to hurt her, but to let her know the sad truth, he had lied to her too. He forwards me the text and I was dumbfounded…SHE WAS CRUSHED?? She knew about the marriage and was aware of me…I knew nothing. She could leave him at anytime and lose nothing…I had 20 years, 4 kids, and a marriage… SHE WAS CRUSHED!!!
I was slightly annoyed with the mom but I wasn’t going to be rude…respect your elders Kelly, she’s a grandma and is probably upset too…so there I sat beside my father-in-law driving in the field and I texted her (exact words..someday I will erase all the texts and emails) “I’m sorry if I upset your daughter…she has been sharing emails, pictures, and stories of MY husband having sex with her…I thought we were comparing notes on the stuff he has been pulling…I am sorry she is upset. I’m a “little” upset too. I unlike her had no idea what was going on and I unlike her have 3 teenage boys who have to be told about their “father”…. and she texted back quickly “I too am sorry. But if you and your husband decide to fix the marriage the boys don’t have to be told. I too Kelly have had a husband cheat on me three tune and all but the last time when I left him my girls knew nothing. So if the two of u can fix it fix it an let the boys be. Like he continues his ways like my daughters they will see for themselves. I feel for u as had 30 yrs an left on the 3rd affair that I knew of. I hope your husband can change his ways an u don’t find our after 30 years. God Bless Kelly”…this was quickly followed by another text from her
“If u need to talk about anything to a woman who has walked in ur shoes u have my number sweetie. Please call me I can tell u a lot about “the whore” and your husband because I am very close to my girls an they tell me everything. Can’t tell u the sick feeling in ur stomach will ever go away or u can ever go back to the way it was. The thing was my husband was a very bad cheater. Your husband is not he basically lived two seperate lives for two years. So I am hear if u need to talk to someone outside of ur circle of family an friends at home. Take care an be good to yourself.” (exact spelling and text except names changed, wouldn’t it be funny if she referred to her daughter as “the whore” though) I sat there in shock…
SHE KNEW ABOUT HER DAUGHTER HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN? and did nothing…SHE HAD THE NERVE TO USE MY NAME LIKE WE WERE FRIENDS? this pissed me off…..SHE WANTS ME TO CONFIDE TO HER ABOUT MY FEELINGS? is she crazy (YES, Kelly bat shit crazy) ..SHE IS CALLING ME SWEETIE?her daughter slept with my husband…..AND MY HUSBAND ISN’T A BAD CHEATER? why because he cheated with your daughter, silly me he’s a good cheater…
I know by this time my father-in-law had to be wondering if I was losing my mind, because I was smiling with anger and shaking trying to control it…She is your elder Kelly, you will not be rude…”I appreciate the offer but I’m a very private person and I have the support of his parents, my friends , and my children” I typed and pushed send, my chest tight with anger but still holding onto the values I had been taught…but still I received back another text..
“I understand but the offer still stands”….”Give it a rest Lady, ” I wanted to scream ” I just found out the love of my life, my best friend, the father of MY children is not the man I thought and I can’t deal with trying to be nice, so please leave me alone…” but she wasn’t done with me…she hadn’t finished, and I believe she too wanted my husband for her daughter, and thought I was being selfish not wrapping him in a bow and putting him on their trailer doorstep.
“My daughter is not a bad person she just made a bad decision by falling in love with a married man an believing him. Again I am sorry.” By this time, I am almost hyperventilating in the passenger seat and have given up pretending I even cared what the cows were bred to, or if they got bred at all…teeth gritted to keep from screaming at the phone I answered her text..
“I believe you but at the end of the day he was a married man”…there done I thought who can argue with those words? ….a bat shit crazy woman can
“An she was single (not when the affair started I found out later) an u r right HE was the MARRIED who was telling everyone who would listen his marriage was over. (another lie, confirmed by my friends in the town). He had all of us fooled an the only reason he stayed was the kids. (emails prove this was a lie…whole time) He had a life up here with “the whore” an my babies adored him. ” on and on she went spouting her “facts” about my husband and her daughter ending the long text with “And believe him if u want to but he loved her. He may stay away now cause he is busted (what? how does that matter if he loves her? he should be running to her finally free) So “the whore” knows an admits she was wrong an is paying her price for having believed him. We do not minimize the feelings u r going thru because he is ur husband an that bond has been broken but don’t let him let u believe he didn’t love “the whore” as well as loving u. That’s what makes it so sad.” this was then quickly followed by yet ANOTHER text.
“So know “the whore” and I r both done with your husband lying to us he is all ur to deal with. Good luck an God bless u.”
It was the God bless you that got me…it made me see red…God Bless Me? How dare you God Bless Me…God…GOD… you are going to end your text with God Bless Me like you are a christian woman?…I let it go, done with her, I had enough to deal with and my children to worry about… but she wasn’t done with me or my husband.
After I told “the whore” off for lying to me, her mom sent my husband a text letting him know why I was really mad at her daughter (not because she had lied about being pregnant or tried to manipulate me) but because as she said in the text…
“I had seen “the whores” Facebook and was jealous of how beautiful her daughter is inside and out.” Elder be damned she had done pissed me off….I texted her
“First of all your daughter knew my husband was married…whole “relationship” she knew he was married…She was the other woman, she had the nerve to send my kids “gifts” and asked to talk to my daughter on the phone knowing she was the other woman. I am a beautiful, smart, funny woman who also HAS morals. I am in no way jealous of her and if you believe that he LOVED her then you are crazy. ..” I let my fingers fly across my phone telling her my “thoughts”…” Your daughter made the choice to sleep with MY husband. He always knew he could see his kids, and that I would give him a divorce if he ever asked…he didn’t because he didn’t “love” her he enjoyed the attention. And the next time your daughter goes husband hunting here’s a tip pick one without a wife and kids. If you want to contact ME again or tell ME to leave your victim of a daughter alone I’m gonna have MY mom call her…if your daughter is old enough to have sex with a married man she’s old enough to “fight” her own battles.”
I hesitated before pushing send but…I was MAD…so I did and we battled it out that evening in texts… her telling me “Please have your mom call me so I can tell her about the relationship” “You were just a paid nanny to take care of his kids” God sent your husband up north to find “the whore” and my personal favorite ” Your husband had more dinners spent more time an had more sex with “the whore” than he did with u in the past two years…” (sweet old lady isn’t she)
She went on to tell me how HER DAUGHTER had taken care of him when he was sick…not me…she got him healthy and she was a better wife, a better friend to him than me… after a whole paragraph explaining this to me, she then sent my mean telling her off text, to my husband and then started questioning him
“So what now u fix ur marriage and my daughter is left alone?” He answered her and she eagerly sent it to me
“Nope I’m moving on and they can both live happy without this piece of shit in it”…when it hit me what she was doing…forwarding texts…pitting us against each other…trying to widen the crack for her daughter to slither into…I went postal…
“He NEVER loved her…He used her…and you her protective mother knew…YOU KNEW and let him in your life?? You are as screwed up as she is…your daughter and you both are…he said you two are crazy but you are one screwed up family!!!!!”
I took a deep breath…nope didn’t work I was still pissed “Her plan didn’t work he didn’t choose her he never will…how about teaching your granddaughters some morals cuz you failed with her.”
Then she went lower than my low ” I thank GOD he didn’t choose her. What kind of morals does he have an “IF” he is the father of ur boys. God help them. ” at that moment all words escaped my head..
.I, Kelly the Queen of come backs, had not a single rational thought in my head…yes I had said her granddaughters should be taught morals because she had failed with her daughter, but to bring my boys… who had now been told…were now devastated… I had seen their tears…their hurt up close…to question my sons’ morals who had been raised, not by the father on the road for 13 years, but me?
I didn’t at the point care she was my elder..or a grandma…or honestly if she belonged in a mental hopital…she had questioned who MY children would grow up to be..
“Screw You Bitch” …three unkind words and I meant them with my whole heart…
“I feel sorry for u Kelly. Happy Thanksgiving” was her reponse…this was November 9, not in anyway near Thanksgiving, and for some absurd reason that was the final straw..
“Face the facts…YOU are Crazy…Your daughter is a Whore..and your granddaughters need my prayers” she once again answered with
” I feel sorry for U Kelly”…I might have mentioned on here…I can’t stand pity…what I can’t stand even more is when someone uses those words to try to poke at you…I didn’t need poked, I honestly at this point needed a Valium and to be restrained…
I would later come to find out she was sending my husband my texts to show him “what kind of woman he was choosing over her sweet daughter” and had sent him one explaining
“I’m sorry I should have never said what I did to Kelly about u being the father of the boys. I know u r a good father. Again I am sorry I said that about u an ur boys”
I believe with my whole heart “the whore” sat next to her and was afraid the text about my children would hurt her chances at getting my husband back…maybe I’m crazy…but I’m betting I’m right. I sent her one last text that month after I had calmed down and she had told my husband to quit having me fight his battles.
I let her know I didn’t know the man who had “lived” up there but I knew the one who had for 20 years been my best friend…I didn’t know what I was going to do in my marriage but I’d be damned if I was going to let anything she said figure into my decison…
“What he had with me was a marriage, what he had with your daughter was a twisted affair. And it wasn’t a two year affair it was a series of break ups. We never fought until I became depressed after losing my grandma and then he lost his grandfather and he spiraled into depression. So you don’t get to judge me or my husband and you and your daughter had better keep my kids names out of your mouths. Have a good life..”
I have had other “dealings” with her and at one point I came face to face with her and “the whore”…that’s a story for another day…but when I did finally see her…the voices in my head screamed with laughter. The “little elderly grandma”? Picture the babysitter off ” The Cat and The Hat”…voice and all. She has a squeaky, whiny voice and isn’t afraid to lie under oath, but she too is really bad at it.
She is bat shit crazy in my book, even if she is my elder…but she did teach me a valuable lesson…children turn out how they are raised. “The whore” was raised in a family full of excuses, where affairs with married men are bragged about, and they aren’t afraid to play games with people’s lives. She grew up in a family of liars, where parents cheated and it was hidden.
Sometimes I almost feel sorry for her…she lived what she was taught by her bat shit crazy mom…. Her two little girls? They are being raised in a family of pretend princesses, I hope their dad can teach them they don’t need saving. It is a dark place where they live…
My children have been hurt, but they know the truth…they know life isn’t a fairy tale…they have seen their father make mistakes, take responsibility for them, and try to be a better man for them and their mother…they have seen love and lies bring their mom to her knees, and her struggle to walk again, when she couldn’t they watched her crawl out of the dark…they have seen their family crushed and broken and watched as we glued the pieces back together…my “boys” will turn out how they are raised.
I personally can’t wait to see the men…the husbands…the fathers they will be.