My sister called me this morning.
After a ten minute conversation about “coffee being spilled all over her car, and she had to go home and pick out another cute outfit…do you know how hard it is to pick out the perfect cute outfit?”
I asked her “is that all you called to tell me?’…Thing is with my sister, it could be.
She is random and will call and then forget why she called..she likes to use “adjectives” and tell you how it is…So it could be about coffee or it could be just about her ‘shitty” day…
“Oh I wanted to talk to you about your blog..but I’ll call you later..”
I wondered off and on today as I spent time with my husband and two oldest sons…”What about my blog?” Last week she called to tell me it was “ugly…you really need to make it pretty or something..” Exasperated with me when I told her I didn’t know how to find my drafts let alone make it “pretty”, she had me hand over my password so she could figure it out. I have a feeling over Thanksgiving weekend I will be watching her at my computer, explaining, and showing.. “bossing me”.. into learing how to spruce up my blog.
Today’s call? To inform me I need to be happier on here..
“I’m getting calls from people who are worried about you” she proceeded to tell me some of you can’t read it because it makes you sad…”so post something happy…not laugh then cry like you do, but just happy.”
“You realize my blog is about my Husband having an affair and how I got through it right?” I asked thinking maybe her coffee was spiked.
Nope she was sober and serious, ” I know but just write a happy one, so people know you are okay..” she insisted.
“First of all it’s about last year, I’m not there anymore, I’m here in my bubble bath talking to you, not lying on the floor crying…and REALLY?? They can’t read it?? I lived it!!! If they want happy go to my facebook…Did you not read yesterday’s?? Laney said if Santa was watching her momma wasn’t getting nothing cuz she was weally mean, that’s funny!!”
Finally after arguing a little while longer, my niece was giving her a dirty look for talking on her phone in the middle of a restaurant, and she had to go. Is my blog too sad? It’s the story of a man cheating on his wife, the wife losing it and how they got through it…are still going through it. I’m a murder and a hooker away from being a Lifetime Movie, and you want me to write it for the Disney Channel (have I mentioned I hate Princesses?) Okay sweet sister…
Once upon a time in a little town there lived a middle-aged, getting a beer belly, but still handsome Prince. He was married to a wonderful, beautiful, smart, hilarious, Queen (screw this it’s my story and I won’t be a princess)…they had four wonderful children who besides being smartass and very mouthy were great kids. One day the Prince hired a “whore princess” to be a cook at the castle,while the queen was away at her castle raising the royal children….
There were probably some talking animals and a musical number or two but this is the short version…
The “whore princess” cast a spell on the Prince telling him how wonderful and perfect he was, and started whispering her “whore” lies at him. The prince drank a cup of stupid and had an affair…”the whore’s” crown fell off revealing a fat cancan slut and he said “oh crap the Queen is going to kill me” but she didn’t because this is a Disney story so …birds braided her hair and mice made her tea and she lived happily ever after without even getting sad or uttering a harsh word… the end…
ook sweet sister… still sarcastic, still a smartass, and still alive. Tell “your friends” to stop being babies, and realize this is the “real world” and bad shit happens to people you know and love…Love you guys too…but I don’t live there anymore, and most days I’m okay…I’m a new normal, and it’s not too bad…so stop crying and worrying and realize this isn’t a sad story…it’s a “don’t give up, kind of kick ass story”…not G rated, but it has talking animals, a soundtrack, and hopefully
a happy ending…
“Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it’s just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life aint always beautiful
You think you’re on your way
And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it’s sweet time
No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride”