Life ain’t always beautiful

My sister called me this morning.

After a ten minute conversation about “coffee being spilled all over her car, and she had to go home and pick out another cute outfit…do you know how hard it is to pick out the perfect cute outfit?”

I asked her “is that all you called to tell me?’…Thing is with my sister, it could be.

She is random and will call and then forget why she called..she likes to use “adjectives” and tell you how it is…So it could be about coffee or it could be just about her ‘shitty” day…

“Oh I wanted to talk to you about your blog..but I’ll call you later..”

I wondered off and on today as I spent time with my husband and two oldest sons…”What about my blog?” Last week she called to tell me it was “ugly…you really need to make it pretty or something..” Exasperated with me when I told her I didn’t know how to find my drafts let alone make it “pretty”, she had me hand over my password so she could figure it out. I have a feeling over Thanksgiving weekend I will be watching her at my computer, explaining, and showing.. “bossing me”.. into learing how to spruce up my blog.

Today’s call? To inform me I need to be happier on here..

“I’m getting calls from people who are worried about you” she proceeded to tell me some of you can’t read it because it makes you sad…”so post something happy…not laugh then cry like you do, but just happy.”

“You realize my blog is about my Husband having an affair and how I got through it right?” I asked thinking maybe her coffee was spiked.

Nope she was sober and serious, ” I know but just write a happy one, so people know you are okay..” she insisted.

“First of all it’s about last year, I’m not there anymore, I’m here in my bubble bath talking to you, not lying on the floor crying…and REALLY?? They can’t read it?? I lived it!!! If they want happy go to my facebook…Did you not read yesterday’s?? Laney said if Santa was watching her momma wasn’t getting nothing cuz she was weally mean, that’s funny!!”

Finally after arguing a little while longer, my niece was giving her a dirty look for talking on her phone in the middle of a restaurant, and she had to go. Is my blog too sad? It’s the story of a man cheating on his wife, the wife losing it and how they got through it…are still going through it. I’m a murder and a hooker away from being a Lifetime Movie, and you want me to write it for the Disney Channel (have I mentioned I hate Princesses?) Okay sweet sister…

Once upon a time in a little town there lived a middle-aged, getting a beer belly, but still handsome Prince. He was married to a wonderful, beautiful, smart, hilarious, Queen (screw this it’s my story and I won’t be a princess)…they had four wonderful children who besides being smartass and very mouthy were great kids. One day the Prince hired a “whore princess” to be a cook at the castle,while the queen was away at her castle raising the royal children….

There were probably some talking animals and a musical number or two but this is the short version…

The “whore princess” cast a spell on the Prince telling him how wonderful and perfect he was, and started whispering her “whore” lies at him. The prince drank a cup of stupid and had an affair…”the whore’s” crown fell off revealing a fat cancan slut and he said “oh crap the Queen is going to kill me” but she didn’t because this is a Disney story so …birds braided her hair and mice made her tea and she lived happily ever after without even getting sad or uttering a harsh word… the end…
L
ook sweet sister… still sarcastic, still a smartass, and still alive. Tell “your friends” to stop being babies, and realize this is the “real world” and bad shit happens to people you know and love…Love you guys too…but I don’t live there anymore, and most days I’m okay…I’m a new normal, and it’s not too bad…so stop crying and worrying and realize this isn’t a sad story…it’s a “don’t give up, kind of kick ass story”…not G rated, but it has talking animals, a soundtrack, and hopefully

a happy ending…

“Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it’s just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you’re on your way
And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it’s sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride”

-Gary Allan-

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9 Responses to Life ain’t always beautiful

  1. Stephanie says:

    I am a little slow, but what does cancan mean? Lol

  2. rkabceden says:

    Lol I so want to post a picture…but even though it’s out there and public on the net, I won’t she’s crazy and would try to sue me, and I’d have to fly back up to Valdez and kick her ass in court again so I won’t…Can Can girls are women who do a little dance and are in a parade for their Gold Rush days in Valdez…some very sweet, very pretty girls participate…most give it up after a certain age but not “the whore” for some unknown reason she thinks it’s a crown you wear around and you are famous by doing it…Google Can Can girls and you can see the outfit she runs around town in…I call her a Can Can whore because..well it makes me laugh…I can’t make this stuff up

  3. Stephanie says:

    Glad I asked! I would have never got that one. I was thinking can goods or something! Lol

  4. Renee says:

    It does my heart so much good to see you are fond of my two favorite words…. Shit and ass. Sometimes together, most of the time in conjunction with other words, always appropriate. LOL!

  5. that friend says:

    Kelly…..I am one of “those friends” and I just wanted to clarify a few things. I read all of your posts the first week. Then all of a sudden I felt myself feeling all of those feelings that I have been referring to myself as “dark places”. Having been though a similar (not the same) situation over 15 years ago and then this last year being really rough it was hard to read, bring up all those old ugly feelings for me. I have been fighting hard not to go back to the “dark place” and as you know some days are good and some bad. So when asked my opinion about your blog “It’s hard to read” seemed the easiest answer. Honestly I don’t have the courage to share the way you are, not even with my friends. My palms are sweating and heart racing just typing this to you. You need to keep telling your story!!! I won’t be able to read it all the time but that’s my problem. Honestly it is hard for people who love you to read about all the hurt and pain. They just love you.

    This has been bothering me and just needed to explain myself and get it out of my mind.
    Thanks 🙂

    • rkabceden says:

      I think everyone has went through depression before…I was depressed when a friend died 8 years ago and tried anti-depressants (hated them and after a week stopped..smart? No but I am stubborn and stupid…not a good combo) I have seen them work miracles on people I love..I hate pills..All pills and won’t hardly take an Advil…but I have issues. If it helps you climb out of the dark and get through the day…Please, please talk to a doctor. And know I bawled like a baby every time I read the “Rescuing my Marriage” Blog…still do..because I can relate, but that blogger hasn’t told her family or friends what she’s going through…Hell most people are probably shocked to read just how bad it got for me, they just thought to themselves “Wow Kelly has lost some weight..” We are all raised to keep our struggles to ourselves and pretend we are okay in public…which is good…I ain’t a pretty crier..I’m a snot dripping, eyes swollen shut kind of girl…you don’t have to read my blog, but I hope you know you aren’t alone..there are others there in the dark with you..just reach out..sweaty palms and all…I will hold your hand.

  6. Gena says:

    Wow.To think my town thinks I’m crazy?! Listen Kelly, I have been choking on the manufactured, artificial sweetener of your facebook and having slowly going( I say going because I haven’t gone through it I am still GOING) through the process of picking myself up off of the floor from depression, I had to hide your posts because they made me feel worse. This blog is raw, yes, but it is real. When you wander with the memories, just remember that they are dark and don’t forget a flashlight to find your way back. Life is not perfect and there is not a solution to every problem, Life can’t always be nicely packaged like a bed in a bag set, sometimes the greatest warmth can be found when you stitch together the remnants and make a quilt. Good Luck. I will be watching your blog and reading through the dark lines, looking for the light. There is no light without dark, no good without evil, no success without failure and no gain without risk.

  7. julesedison says:

    Kelly, Just starting to read your blog. It is great. Loved this line: “Wow Kelly has lost some weight..” I have a new awareness when I see someone has abruptly lost a lot of weight. So tired of fielding the question, “How did you do it?” I always feel like saying, “Just have a nervous breakdown. It ‘s easy!” We have kept our story private, so your bravery at sharing so completely is amazing to me. I do think that the hidden prevalence of infidelity needs to come out of the shadows. Thanks for getting the ball rolling.

    • Thanks for reading 🙂 I don’t know if ‘coming out’ was brave, or right, I just know I personally wasn’t in a situation where people weren’t going to talk. I’d rather have some say in what they said then have to sit by and listen to the whispers as I walked by.

      I do wish it wasn’t such a hidden topic, it makes healing hard when you don’t have anyone to talk to.

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