Let It Go

I have admitted to going crazy on here, and to being creatively mean to my husband…aka match.com.

Now I have to admit, I have also lost my temper at “the whore”. I like to think of myself as a level-headed, drama free, stay-at-home mom who always keeps calm. It’s a nice idea to aspire to, however I have my weak moments. I used to think I only lost it when it came to my kids, hurt my kids and you will see a whole new side of Kelly. I will come at you and it ain’t pretty, so my kids and their hurt make me a little crazy.

If I’m being totally honest? Basketball makes me a little crazy. I have been threatened to be removed from a game once or twice, both times totally not my fault. Fine, just a little my fault. First time a fan was yelling at my middle son, YELLING UGLY THINGS, and he was in 4th grade. I wanted to leap across the court and shut her mouth by shoving the game ball in it, but I didn’t. I merely sat there and started slow clapping for my son, mature? No, but it worked she stopped yelling at him and started yelling at me…

“Who’s clapping!!” she screamed.

I stood up shaking from anger and started clapping again..

“I am!!” I screamed back.

She lost it then and started screaming all kinds of nice words at me…I just smiled yelled back at her the same words over and over…

“He’s in 4th grade, shut your mouth!!”

I was asked to leave by a nervous high school concession stand worker, and I was willing to, I believe in the whole “you do the crime…you serve the time” motto. My husband though (who was mad at me for yelling) put his hand on my arm and pulled me back down when I stood to leave and said

“She’s not leaving unless you kick out the other woman too…”

I realized then they hadn’t asked the home court loud mouth woman to leave just me, so I sat back down and smiled sweetly at the now sweating teen.

He looked at my husband and asked “Can you at least keep her quiet?”

Not my proudest moment but my middle son has never forgotten it. He will tell you proudly today the story of his mom getting in a fight over him.

The other time I lost it? Short and sweet version? I was coaching my youngest’s team. I was 9 months pregnant. I got mouthy with the referee. The referee sucked, he didn’t like to be told he sucked. I was told to not say another word or he would kick me out. I was pretty sure he didn’t have the nerve to kick out an enormously huge pregnant woman. I said another word…the word was “Really?”. He didn’t kick me out, but glared at me for calling his bluff. I had Laney 4 days later, she will play Basketball.

I never knew I had the fight in me until I had kids, I’m a pretty easy-going person. Last year at this time my husband showed up to work, days before his birthday and on his desk sat a present and a note “We need to talk” from “the whore”. She had bought him another old musty cookbook, and wanted him to talk to her. He hadn’t talked to her in a month and I think it was finally hitting her “He’s done this time and not ever coming back”.

Did it make her desperate? Probably…but it totally pissed me off…this was the second time since the “break-up” that she had left him a “present”. I had warned her before, when she had went crying down to his office because I had accidentally sent her a text meant for my husband, mess with my marriage again and the gloves come off.

No one should ever be put into the position to have to fight for their marriage, I believe once marriage vows are said there should only be two people in the relationship. My husband had allowed her into his life, and by doing so had allowed her into mine, I was now faced with a choice…Sit by idly and let her play her games or jump in and get a little “whore” on my hands and fight for my marriage.

I had told her the day she went running down to his office, begging him to make me stop “Because knowing he was trying to win me back was hurting her feelings”…if she kept it up? I would not only post on every public website, Facebook page, or site I could find up north of the emails and texts of her chasing my husband, I would call every woman in the town to warn them that she was a home-wrecking whore…and when I was done with that? I would call her ex-husband who she had run back to and let him know the details and true story of the affair…or maybe I would send the printed off copies of the texts and emails to him in the mail for Christmas.

Nice? No it wasn’t, but I was pushed past the brink, she changed her telephone number after those texts, I had hurt her feelings. I was actually shocked. I figured someone who had the nerve to sleep with another woman’s husband, would actually have some “lady balls”. Nope she scurried off in tears, to play her favorite role…”Victim Whore”.

So I couldn’t call her on the day of the present, but I was mad…I was livid…so I called “bat shit crazy” and let her know I was done with warning her whore of a daughter, I wanted her number, and if she wouldn’t give it to me the emails were going in the mail to her daughter’s ex-husband. Mess with my marriage and I will make sure the man you are using now gets to know the truth…the whole truth…and nothing but the truth.

Her mom was her usual self, claiming how my husband still wanted the whore, how he had seen her in the grocery store and said “Hi”, this proved he was still chasing her…He had seen her, said “Hi”, pushed his cart to the front of the store, left his groceries, then called me to let me know he had seen her and said “Hi”. I already knew, and so her words fell on deaf ears. Her daughter hadn’t left him any presents she claimed. Her daughter was done (later in court her “daughter” admitted to leaving him a present).

I ended up hanging up on the crazy mother of “the whore”. Sanity came to me and I decided she wasn’t worth it…but she called me back and when I didn’t answer she began texting threats of getting a restraining order against me. I was dumbfounded…her and her daughter harassed me, sent me texts and emails, and when I’m finally pushed to my limit and fight back? They are going to play the victim?

Looking back I know I was still so stinking naive, I didn’t understand how bad people could be. How when pushed and their world built of lies was coming down, they would do anything to save themselves. I should have walked away, with my anger, my hurt and called a truce, but I was so done with their games, and so my answer back was basically to “Bring it, I’m done playing nice…”

I laughed at them trying to get a restraining order against me in Oklahoma.  I had never physically threatened them, and if it was because I had called her a whore? Well I had more than enough proof to the fact that she was a whore. I was still mad at my husband but I was now more pissed at the whore and her mom.

Don’t keep messing with my life and my family and then cry victim when I finally have had enough. So I got mad, lost it, then realized I was too old and too smart to be playing games with ignorant white trash. I said my piece and walked away, at the time unaware of the hornet’s nest of whores I had stirred up, and that they weren’t done with me.

I had a couple more days of my new normal before “the whore” sprung her new drama on my family. “What new drama?” Oh my sweet friends, that is a story for another day, today I’m just going to say I got to finally stand up to “bat shit crazy” and “the whore” and I should have just let it go. The truth coming out, me fighting back…it felt good, but it brought forth a whole new crazy, to my already crazy screwed up life…

I should have let it go.

“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried!

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know!

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all!”

-Idina Menzel-

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2 Responses to Let It Go

  1. fenix says:

    have you ever read the year after the affair blog? I’m sorry you had to deal with that after your husbands affair and yes you are right it’s really scary how terrible some people can be

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