A Long Time Ago We Used To Be Friends

Okay one more rant and then I will get back to “the story”.

This is MY blog, I get to write what I want as long as it’s my truth. It is all my truth you know, my view into the world, I write from my perspective. Am I lying? No, won’t do it…it would defeat my purpose of shining light into the dark, it would be wrong, I won’t do wrong…not on purpose.

Could there be other perspectives into my story…umm yeah, I’m sure “the whore” if she was writing this blog about the affair? She’d have a different story to tell, and I would be the mean bully bitch who stole her true love and then was Really, really mean to her…and made her cry little whore tears.

So I have been totally and completely pissed off…not by “the whore”, not by my husband, but by people who “read” my blog then take it upon themselves to judge me…obviously they need to read the whole blog, because on here we don’t judge…Yet they judge, they make shitty snide comments and JUDGE.

What would the Miguel voice in my head say? “Why are you worrying about what they are saying? You are the coolest, smartest, most honest person I know!!” He of course is on pain medications when he says this from losing his hand. His new banjo gave him an infection in his nail, he ignored it and it was amputated. They messed up first though and removed his right eye (the doctor was drunk)…so now he sits at home in the castle he bought from suing the doctor and Banjo maker in court…bad thing is he can’t shave so he has a rather large mustache and he can’t master “Don’t Stop Believing” on the banjo…All of that ? Bullshit (although it would be totally cool if it happened…the Miguel saying nice things to me part).

My blog isn’t though…it’s real, and the Hell I lived in was real. If I was only writing what the Miguel voice in my head says to me while I’m fuming? Then I’d have to label this fiction, and call it the blog of “lies”. I don’t lie…well sometimes I do…We All Do. I’m lying to my daughter about Santa, and a Christmas Elf this week, but Lou has been bad , she has been really bad. She has sassed, refused to mind and called her brothers names, not “ewwy nasty” but she called my middle one an “asshole”, then giggled and told him she was gonna “punch him in the face”.

I’m old, I’m really tired and I took the easy way out and used the “Santa Card”. She is strangely afraid of the elf, but will really try to be good when told Santa is watching, and hey I give credit to people for trying to be good.

I try you know, I really do, but when people who have had no part in my last year try to belittle what I have found to heal, it pisses me off. What would I say if they were still reading my blog? (and they aren’t…I guess I’m only writing this for the attention, Because EVERYBODY wants to be known as the woman who was cheated on and then went crazy…you should see the line at my house for autographs, I’m going to hire an assistant soon to hand out numbers…and I guess I think this is good writing with my inflated ego?)

I make myself laugh and for me it’s good enough. I have been accused of hurting my family, my friends, my kids, and my husband by writing this blog and SHOCKER making it public. Who lives their life open for the whole world to see it all? Oh yeah “THIS FAMILY DOES”, guess what my family is fine.

My oldest is getting good grades,going to college and judging while there, my middle son is happy and playing the sports he loves with his friends, my youngest son is giggling again, and Laney? She has found her light, she isn’t sad, she is going around happily calling people “assholes”…my husband supports me, loves me, and is my best friend.

The rest of my family and friends? They read my blog, think I’m funny and they love me, regardless.) So what would I say? I’d say “Bite Me“…tomorrow I’ m going back to telling my story, and if you don’t like it?

I’m sure “the whore” has an empty seat next to her there in the dark, introduce yourself, I’m sure you two will be fast friends.

“A long time ago we used to be friends
But I haven’t thought of you lately at all
If ever again a greeting I send to you
Short and sweet to the soul I intend

Come on now honey bring it on bring it on, yeah
Just remember me when you’re good to go
Come on now sugar bring it on bring it on, yeah
Just remember me when

It’s something I said or someone I know
Or you called me up maybe I wasn’t home
Now everybody needs some time and everybody knows
The rest of is fine and everybody knows

Come on now sugar bring it on bring it on, yeah
Just remember me when you’re good to go
Come on now honey bring it on bring it on, yeah
Just remember me when

We used to be friends a long time ago”
-Dandy Warhols-

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