I had been taught hard lessons the first 6 weeks after Dday (discovery day), and my husband was getting ready to learn them too. One was there are truly evil people in the world…people who are so self-centered, so eager to play the victim, so stinking far away from having any type of morals…that they will lie, manipulate, and hurt who ever to get their way. The second is life isn’t about being fair…period.
He was dumbfounded by the restraining order, he had no contact with her in six weeks, the only words spoken between them was a single one “Hi”. How was she getting a restraining order? He made it to his hotel and was faxed a copy of the order…he went to his room and read it to me. I was pissed, and agreed with him it was bogus, I was also naive to our courts and told him “She can’t do this”…then I started goggling…and guess what? Not only can she file a false restraining order, it will stick unless we shelled out thousands of dollars in lawyer fees to fight it. It cost her nothing to file it…they will even provide you with assistance in case you don’t know what to put to make it “correct”. I read horror story after horror story of false restraining orders being filed by pissed off vengeful women, and the consequences of having one on your record.
By the next morning I was exhausted but I knew what we had to do, fight it. Did I want to fight it? No! I wanted to heal my family in peace, I wanted to have a normal Christmas with my family (if just for one day), and I wanted “the whore” out of our lives. In my heart though, I knew it was the easy way, to just accept it. I also knew it was wrong, and if we didn’t fight it? We were letting wrong win…and what were my words to my children then? “Right is right, and wrong is wrong…you should always no matter how hard try to do right”…Right is rarely easy, but you do it. My husband had done wrong, and it had taken him down a dark path, a path which almost destroyed his family. Now we were faced with fighting a really hard ugly battle…or we could just accept that it was wrong, and do nothing.
We were so tired, I was broken and barely functioning, and our family was in pieces…my husband told me “We can do whatever you want Kelly. We can just let it stand, I will find a different job, I don’t want to go back anyway.” I knew he meant it, he was done letting his choices hurt me, and he knew I was broken. “No,” I told him “she doesn’t get to do this, she doesn’t get to lie anymore, to play games with my family. We are going to fight this because it’s not right, and I’m not going to let her win.” We were started on a new journey…one which we didn’t ever think we would go on…Neither of us had ever set foot in court, been in contact with a lawyer, in 39 years I had only had one traffic ticket (And I still swear I stopped at the stop sign). The next month would be exhausting, and we would learn some hard lessons about life…but right is right and wrong is wrong.
I was determined that right would win this time.
“Doesn’t happen over night, but you turn around and a months gone by,
And you realize you haven’t cried.
I’m not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer.
I’m busy getting stronger.”