My niece got engaged yesterday, and I am so happy for her, really I am.
Last year I would have been too bitter…too jaded to be happy for her. I would have thought “Don’t do it…marriage is hard, and loving someone opens yourself up to hurt…run far and fast, sweet neice…don’t do it.” I am glad she got engaged this Christmas instead, because I want to mean it when I hug them and say “Congratulations!!”. I want to fuss over her wedding and cry as I watch her say “I do” out of happiness, not worry. Am I still jaded? Maybe a little, just a smidge…I “might” sometimes yell at the radio “Say No!!” when the “Marry Me” song comes on…but I’m getting better, last year I would have probably laughed hysterically and ended up in tears when I heard the song. Hey, it’s about the progress, not the issues I still have today.
I believe my niece’s fiance when he says he loves her, and I know she loves him. I am the one in my family who asks the questions everyone else wants to know and is afraid to ask, and am usually forgiven for being nosy because they know I am asking out of love. She told me when I asked… he was the one, her forever, who she wants to grow old with…she doesn’t see her life without him…she LOVES HIM. He when asked promised me he will never hurt her, he will protect her and love her forever, she is his everything…he LOVES HER. I said a prayer for them, because young love is easy, it’s sweet and is pure…marriage and life? It is HARD…and sometimes love gets lost along the way.
What would I say to the young couple? What advice would I give them if they asked?
I’d tell them to never stop holding hands…and if you don’t hold hands now? Start holding hands today.
Kiss each other every night at bedtime, and again every morning when you get up. No matter what…no excuses, just do it.
If they are mad talk about it, and when you get done talking if they are still mad? Keep on talking, because if you think to yourself “Oh he/she will get over it.” Guess what sometimes they don’t and it will sit there and fester, until you don’t talk…at all.
End every single phone call with “I love you”, yes he might look “whipped” and you might feel silly, but who doesn’t need to hear it?
Support each other, it really is the two of you against the world, and if you don’t support each other…who will?
Take time for each other. It’s easy when you are young and there are only two of you…it’s gonna get hard, still do it.
Be good to each other, I know sappy, but it’s not a request but a demand…YOU TWO WILL BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER…you will be kind and loving, supportive and honest, you will be good to each other.
Laugh…laugh every single stinking day, especially on the shitty days, because laughter makes everything better.
Apologize quickly, and if you don’t want to because you were right and they were wrong? I want you to remember sometimes it doesn’t matter who was right, it matters that feelings were hurt, and you love him/her. So screw being right.
Love can conquer all, if you give it a chance, but you have to be willing to put in some work.
My niece is getting married…I want her to have the whole fairy tale, and to live happily ever after.
“A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head
When I think of all the years I wanna be with you
Wake up every morning with you in my bed
That’s precisely what I plan to do
And you know one of these days when I get my money right
Buy you everything and show you all the finer things in life
We’ll forever be in love, so there ain’t no need to rush
But one day I won’t be able to ask you loud enough
I’ll say, “Will you marry me?”
I swear that I will mean it
I’ll say, “Will you marry me?”