I spent the holidays last year helping my husband figure out his new battle with “the whore”.
We hired a lawyer and started learning about restraining orders. My history of being the “google queen” was paying off and I was able to figure out what we needed to do. In every single article, message board, blog, website, it said the same thing…fight them if you can, because they are used too often by women just like “the whore”. She was using it as payback, as a way to keep me from destroying her new life with her ex-husband, and because she wanted to play the victim.
By her trying to get my husband fired it had brought the affair to her co-workers attention, and she could either be a ” home wrecking whore” or a “victim”, without my husband there she could make sure she got to be the victim. With the restraining order in place? She became the new “Queen of Victims” and I’m sure the pity and the sympathy were making her feel all warm and fuzzy.
She had won, because with restraining orders? You don’t have to have any proof…no evidence and the person you accuse? They are presumed guilty unless they go to court and fight, and even then they have to prove the accuser wrong. It is a messed up part of our court systems, that is taken advantage of in custody fights, and by women like “the whore”. There is a purpose for restraining orders, but the fact that they can be given so lightly, without evidence pisses me off.
She had at first said there wasn’t any violence against her…then she went back marked it out and changed it to my husband had pushed her over a year ago and left a bruise on her hip, and he had left a mark on her wrist the night at his apartment when they broke up. When I read it I saw red, and then I knew not only were we going to fight it…We were also going to win.
I on the phone remember? With them as she confronted him in his apartment, and then she talked to me afterwards “I hit him over and over and he just stood there, then I punched him in the eye and he told me to leave or he’d call the police…I hope he has a black eye at work tomorrow!!” those were her words to me…and now she was lying about the night.
I then started rereading the paperwork, and different nights she had down where he “harassed her” stuck out to me…I remember laughing and my husband who sat there watching me read was startled “What?” I kept laughing and I grabbed my phone, and pulled up an email “the whore” had sent me “She’s lying,” I told him giggling ” and I can prove it!” The email on the day of the “incident” was her mad at him because he would never come out to her house to stay with her and her “babies”, and how sad it made her, not him harassing or stalking her.
I spent the evening with printed off copies (hundreds of pages) of the emails sent from her, I organized them, and started chipping away at her lies. It was stinking hard, imagine having to lock yourself in a room and doing a research paper on your husband’s affair, having to relive it over and over to figure out “the truth”…there were times I would get done and cry for hours.
Why didn’t my husband do it? Because her putting the restraining order on him was partly my fault…I had threatened to expose her, pushed her buttons…and because he was broken, bewildered and didn’t know what to do…I did, we needed to expose the truth. She mentioned me in the order, how I had harassed her with phone calls and emails. She never mentioned the emails she sent me…the many times she called me. I was part of it…me, Kelly who had but one ticket for failure to yield, who was a stay at home mom raising kids, cows and puppies, was a part of “this”.
Seven weeks earlier my biggest headache? Trying to get my middle son to pass his stupid drivers exam, and now I was fighting a whore in court. My life had become a soap opera, a lifetime movie, a mess…but I still believed “The truth will set you free” and every time my husband would find me crying with papers crumbled around me and ask “Are you sure you want to keep fighting?” I would tell him “She’s lying, and I am not going to let her win” She didn’t either, she would finally find a man who didn’t fall for her cries of “victim”, who saw past her tears and lies and saw her for the vindictive lying whore she is.
It was a beautiful day.
“So why you lookin’ so nervous
You know you’re gonna deserve this
I oughta kill you right now and do the whole wide world a service
Well my daddy’s gonna straighten you out like a piece of wire, like a piece of wire
The way you lie
You lie like the man with the slick back hair who sold me that Ford
Well, You lie like the pine tree in the back yard after last month’s storm
Well, You lie like a penny in the parking lot at the grocery store
It just comes way too natural to you
The way you lie”
-The Band Perry-