She’s Crafty

After the first hearing we were sent copies of the emails and texts “the whore” was using as her evidence of the stalking.

There were twenty-four emails and texts, a lot of them were the same ones, repeated over and over with different parts added or taken away, there was one email from me and it was the only one that was threatening. I told her “payback was coming and I was going to let her ex-husband know the truth”, I wish I could say I wasn’t kind of proud I made the list…but like a young child would say “She started it”, and I was just letting her know I would be the one to finish it.  She had two pages of times he had harassed her, at bars, at her house and she provided witnesses. Funny thing was two of the witness at the bar knew my husband hadn’t been there, and were amazed she listed them in her ‘evidence’.

I was pissed, he hadn’t had contact with her in the six weeks leading up to the order, and knew if he had chosen her it wouldn’t have been harassment it would have been arguing back and forth as ‘couples’ do. I was also mad at his lawyer…what were we paying her for if not to present evidence on his behalf? What the hell was she waiting on? I had the full emails not just the bits and pieces provided…I also had proof she had pursued him, and she had harassed me. I was losing confidence in his lawyer, and in her assurances we had a good case. I finally sent her everything I had for my husband, and then waited to hear something.

Seven days later we sat at a show and it was 7:50 p.m. our time, 4:50 p.m. in the north. And his lawyer had finally sent the court some emails.  I read the email sitting in the truck, and when my husband found me I was giggling hysterically.

“What?” He asked smiling.

“Her head is going to explode..” I finally got out between giggles.

“Whose head? What are you reading?” he reached for my phone.

“Your lawyer just sent 107 emails as evidence!! And she did it at the close of the day!!! And on a Friday so she has all weekend to stew over it!!” I was relieved we had finally shown another side to the case, but I was also finding humor in the amount of emails and the timing of them.

Up until this point we were the only ones with a lawyer, “the whore” hadn’t been out one stinking dime. We found out she hired a lawyer the following Monday, and it thrilled me. She was finally having to pay something for the nightmare she had started, and if I had my way? She was going to lose in court too, things were finally looking up for us, and knowing she was sweating was making my packing a lot easier.

As she was hiring her lawyer and scrambling to protect her story which was quickly falling apart…I was boarding a plane.

It’s a really long trip from the south to the great north, it’s even longer when you know you are going to court to fight a whore.

“Well this girl came up to me, she said she’s new in town
But the crew been said they seen her around
I thought they were right, but I didn’t wanna know
The girlie was Def and she wanted to go

I think her name is Lucy but they all call her, “Loose”
I think I thought I seen her on eighth and forty-deuce
The next thing she said, “My place or yours?
Let’s kick some bass behind closed doors”

We got into the cab, the cab driver said
He recognized my girlie from the back of her head
He said a little something about tip to base
So I made him stop the cab to get out of the place

Shouldn’t have looked back, man, I’ll always regret it
Something’s going on and I’ll probably never get it
She was crying like a baby, stupid dumb
It’s just too bad that girl’s a bum

She’s crafty, she’s gets around
She’s crafty, she’s always down
She’s crafty, you know she’s got a gripe
She’s crafty and she’s just my type
She’s crafty

I spent my last dollar to buy a Sabrett
When I seen this girl I could never forget
Now, I like nothing better than a pretty-girl smile
And I haven’t seen a smile that pretty in a while

The girl came up to me she said she loved the show
I asked her to come home and she couldn’t say no
We got the crib and there’s Adam and D
We didn’t say a word, they just stared at me

I said, “I don’t know her I just met her tonight”
And Ad Rock started hiding everything in sight
D pulled me over said, “Hide your gold
The girl is crafty like ice is cold”

The girl is crafty, she knows all the moves
I started playing records, she knew all the grooves
He thought she was a thief and D was right
But I just figured she’d spend the night

When I woke up late in the afternoon
She had taken all the things from inside his room
I found myself naked in the middle of the floor
She had taken the bed and the chest of drawers

The mirror, the TV, the new guitar cord
My remote control and my old skateboard
She robbed us blind, she took all we owned
And the boys blamed me for bringing her home

She’s crafty, she’s gets around
She’s crafty, she’s always down
She’s crafty, she’s got a gripe

-Beastie Boys-

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