I Won’t Back Down

‘You made your blog private?”

Yes my sweet friends it’s now privately public…I know what you are thinking “Sister be off her meds again”. Maybe so and maybe not, I’ll explain and then you be the judge (yes for today only we are allowing judging on my blog…and I want your opinion).

I have gotten some hate mail. Big shocker there, huh? Whore’s (I guess if I was being politically correct I’d call them mistresses, I’m not politically correct ) and fellow home wreckers? They don’t like my blog…I’m being mean to the whore, I’m being mean to my husband, I’m letting my husband off easy, I’m being unfair to my kids, I’m not telling the truth, I’m sharing too much, I should be sued, I should be hung up by my lady balls and whipped. I wish they’d all get together and decide what exactly I’ve done wrong? Calling out the whore who slept with my husband, who harassed my family, who tried to manipulate me…what should I have done? Gave her a hug? A full on woman to woman kiss? Maybe a thank you card? Call me crazy but I think she’s getting off easy.

I’d really like to drive up north and shit on her car…Yes, SHIT on ‘the whore’s’ car…can you imagine when she comes outside and there sits a pile of human shit? ‘The whore’ scratches her head, puts her head down close, takes a big whiff of my shit and screams “That’s human shit!!” I’d being hiding in the bushes with a friend or two, giggling as they tugged on my arm.

“Let’s go!!” They’d scream. “She’s calling the cops!!”

The whore slipped on the ice trying to turn, while pulling her phone from her pocket, she grabs her car and her hand lands in my shit….”Ahhhh SHIT!!!” She cries…

My friends have picked me up and are carrying me to the car. “Are you crazy,” my funny friend asks.

Yes I am…is the answer and I like it and I’m not going to change…EVER.

But I stopped and thought, then thought some more…and being me I gave it more thought…then I decided this. They don’t get to judge me, you can disagree…you can state your opinion… but when the judging starts you get kicked off my island.

I love survivor (I want to play…I think I’d win. Anyone who will bite her own son is competitive enough to win, or maybe I should say ‘crazy’) I decided to make my own island and vote people off, I’m going to put out the torches on people who don’t belong on my island. My casting process? You have to have ‘Lady Balls’ to join…fine men can come too, but they’d better have huge balls.

What does having a private blog give me? “Freedom” as pre-crazy Mel Gibson would scream. Paint my face blue and put me in a kilt and it’s me…Kelly standing on the battlefield yelling “You might take my happiness, sleep with my husband, and try to destroy me..but you will never take my FREEDOM!!!!And as an old lady, lying on my death-bed? My last words will be YOU ARE A WHORE!!!” They will not silence me, will not halt my healing, or bully me…

It might get a little darker, and kind of sad now…not having to worry about my kids reading this is allowing me more stories to tell. If it gets a little bumpy? Just grab my hand, I promise there is gonna be a few laughs on the way too, and pray with me friends “A Happy Ever After” …amen

So now no more Facebook links, no more public links…if your friends want to read my blog? They now need a referral…or to be a friend in my blogging world.

Tomorrow is a new chapter, I wonder what I’ll write?

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9 Responses to I Won’t Back Down

  1. cascoz says:

    My thoughts? Go on girl, a quote from my personal favorite Anne Lamott, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

  2. nitehart says:

    Its your blog, do whatever you want to do. I enjoy reading your blog and look forward to hearing your story. Gina

  3. momo4mattox says:

    You rock! Keep on telling the story you have every right to tell. You were taken advantage of! Call it like it is – a whore is a whore. You can’t sugar coat it. I have enjoyed reading every one of your posts and will continue to do so!

  4. Ok seriously? I would like to officially apply to be your bff. And if that spot is already taken, I want to be one of the friends that hides in the bushes and watches the whore slip in the shit. For the first time in I don’t know WHEN…..I laughed out loud. I laughed until my stomach hurt. I laughed until tears rolled down my face. Because really? No one understands. Unless you have had a whore thrown ugly hair over fat ass into the middle of your life, you have no idea. Until you have felt torn apart by someone who doesn’t know you, yet hates you (and your kids) just for the mere fact that you EXIST….you have no clue. I have many (ok, a few) where I can be rational. I can see more than my side of the story. I can dole out mature answers, ideas and thoughts. But sometimes. OH SOMETIMES…..you just have to imagine shitting on someone’s car. Thanks so much for inviting me to your blog!

    • I don’t know of anyone who can’t use another friend or two 🙂 I like you because you always seem so grown-up and reasonable in your comments, you seem well spoken and full of grace…I need more voices like you in my head. Thank you for reading and understanding why I hate ‘the whore’ and why I sometimes have crazy thoughts

  5. brokenjoan says:

    If people don’t like your blog, tell them to fuck off, a whore is a whore, especially skank ass bitches that sleep with weak ass married men, and yes I have gone off my meds, so I can seriously kick my husbands’ balls outta the ball park!!! I’m on anti-depressants, can’t sleep without sleeping pills, have lost 30 lbs, so now I barely weigh a 100 lbs., my life is total shit, all because he couldn’t keep his dick out of a WHORE!!! I bet that cunt hasn’t lost one night of sleep over this, believe it or not, I have never talked like this in my entire life until now, but I found out good girls finish last, from now on I intend to hold my head high & my middle finger higher! Say what you want , I can’t think of a punishment bad enough for a WHORE that opens her legs to a married man! Oh but everyday the lying, cheating, son of a bitch that I married gets his, moral of his story be careful of the choices you make because this pissed off wife will make you pay & pay & pay for the rest of your life! I would say I’m sorry for the rant, but I’m not. Thanks for letting me vent.

  6. Rebecca says:

    Let the haters hate. Everybody has their own justifications. Murderers, terrorists, robbers – they all can tell why whatever they did is correct. But that doesn’t make it right. A whore is a whore is a whore. Nothing sweet about it. Your blog touches my life, I feel happy that you can shit on her car (atleast in imagination). It gives me the confidence that I can do too (in my sweet imagination).

  7. Kathryn McCune says:

    I came across your blog when I was looking for information on how to recover from an affair. My husband, like yours, had an affair. I got suspicious as he started hiding his phone when I would enter the room. I shrugged off the number of times he did this until it became so blatant, I knew something was going on. Then I looked at our phone bill and found 1,600 text messages going back and forth between them at all hours of the day and night in one month. I confronted him, and they supposedly ended it. That was in December, 2012. She was also married and almost 20 years his junior. They had met in January, 2011, so this had been going on for two years. He claims it was never physical. It was an affair of the heart. On January 23, 2015 I received an envelope from “Checkmate” in the mail at my job. It was copies of e-mails from early October 2014 of endearments going back and forth between my husband and a woman. Yep, you guessed it. The same woman. When I presented him with the e-mails, he said someone must have hacked into his e-mail. I kept thinking it was someone crazy in my life that was trying to get back at me (yes, it’s always about me…lol). Then I woke up and realized that this was him and someone he was involved with. It had nothing to do with me. Long story short, it took a week of confrontation before he finally ‘fessed up. It still makes my sick to my stomach when I think of the lies and deceit from the man that I love. I never, ever would have suspected something like this happening to our marriage. He was the last person I would have ever expected would hurt me. It has gotten much better for me. I don’t obsess about it anymore. It pops into my head occasionally now. I love him. He is a good man. He made a terrible, terrible mistake. Could this happen again? Yes. Would we survive another episode? No. I don’t trust him. I live with that. He feels terrible guilt. HE lives with that. Lenard’s cheating on Penny brought tears to his eyes. I give our marriage everything I have daily. But I also give my happiness everything I have daily. This is not dependent on him. We are creating a new normal as my daughter said. I am getting used to it. I miss the naïve, blind trust I had in him, but I feel I am a stronger, wiser person. There are scars, and things will never be the same. But damn it, I will be happy. Stay strong! You have been through so much during your three years.

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