Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under

Funny little fact? No one down here in Oklahoma or ‘the south’ knows who ‘the whore’ is…no one. My sister doesn’t remember her name, my friends can’t recall what her momma named her “What it’s not really ‘the whore?” Only I know and of course my husband.

Sometimes when I want to see him shudder? I use her real name…just to be a bitch. If I’m really pissed I call her his girlfriend, just to remind him “You slept with that..” But 99.9% of the time she is called ‘the whore’, someday I hope to refer to her no more, but let’s be honest we are a long way from there.

For some reason though? EVERYONE assumes they know who I’m referring to up north…in a town we will call Zedlav from here on out…they all assume they know who ‘the whore’ is. Now I never named names, I never called her out by any identifying marks (like her trashy tattoos), I never posted a picture or a name. I too live in a small town, actually it’s smaller, and if someone started writing a random blog about ‘A girl in Oklahoma” who lived in my town and was a whore? Yeah I don’t think people would say “Hey that’s Kelly”…why? I’m not a whore.

So if people in her small town are like “that’s Mary down at the bar” maybe it’s because they have already heard she’s a whore. So my advice to Mary? Stop being a whore, stop playing dress up, and for the love of all things HOLY…deepen your voice, stop puckering your lips and grow the HELL UP.

So I set my blog to private…please my friends stop threatening to kick my ass, I’m working on granting you all access. I am sick, Lou is sick, and I am having puppies….I mean my oldest son’s baby is having puppies…Listen I have had a bad, busy week!!! And it takes me awhile to figure all these blog settings out. But if you have a friend who wants to keep reading my blog with his morning coffee? Send me an email address, as soon as I’m done cleaning up puke and blood? I will get right on it….

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One Response to Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under

  1. I had a conversation with my therapist one day and she suggested that I stop using all the names (I’ve got a million!) for the whore and just call her by her name. She said I give away my power. I told her I would think about that but in the meantime she’s referred to as “the whore”. Like you, I occasionally get angry and refer to her, to my husband as “your whore”. Actually I’m
    Past that one now as it always started an argument, and even I can see it was not “in a healing direction”. I absolutely refuse to say they had sex (or “made love” as the whore likes to call it). I refer to it as “when you rode the tilt-a-whore”, “went cow tipping”, or climbed “mount fat”. I’ve got a bunch of these too. They crack me up. Every time.

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