I stopped writing…
My husband said unkind things in anger about a blog he’s never read, so I stopped writing. He has watched the sadness, my demons return, once held captive by my writing now free again.
“Please write!!” He begged me the other night “if you write again I will read it!!” He promised…
I don’t believe him he has promised a lot through the years. He lies I know that now and I don’t trust him. I don’t know if I even want him to read my blog.
There was a time I did, I thought maybe it’d help him heal. Now I don’t care, let him figure out how to heal on his own. He had his ‘fun’ now let him pay for it. That’s angry Kelly in my head, she is totally and completely pissed this week. If I let her fully out? He’d be dead and I would be in jail. “Girl has issues” but man does she not have a point.
“He has issues!!” She screams in my head “So f-ing what!! He didn’t care about you or your kids for two years!! Two f-ing years!! That’s 730 days (she might be wrong she sucks at math too…she’s really good at throwing the F-bomb as an adjective though)!! He deserves to rot in HELL for what he did!!He was a f-ing ass to you, he cheated on you, and he lied over, and OVER to you!! You distract him when he opens the door and I will nail him with the bat!! It will feel good, the crunch of his skull giving way, watching him spit out his teeth, breaking his arm…come on let’s have some fun.” She begs me.
I get her anger, and she makes some really valid points. But in her anger she forgets the kids, and I don’t want them being raised by my In laws. I love them, but they spoil my kids and feed them pizza too much.
So I’m writing again, ‘Angry Kelly’ is giving me a headache and ‘the whore’ needs to get the Hell back up north and out of my head.
‘Sad Kelly’? She needs to check her panties and see if she has any lady balls left. If not she needs to grow a pair. My husband might have had a thing for whiny, weak women but I can’t stand them.