I’m having a hard time writing today.
It doesn’t happen very often, usually the thoughts start flowing and some sort of story comes out. I’ve written two different ones today and they got filed away with my drafts. Will they ever make an appearance? Maybe…one was too mean, but in my defense the whiny mistress who commented on my post Friday made me mad. The other was too whiny, but maybe sometimes I feel WHINY?!?! I’m not posting it but I’m not going to beat myself up for it either. I woke up too early and thoughts (voices) were there to greet me. After an hour it took all my will power to not literally kick my snoring husband out of bed. I never knew how much self-control I had until he had his affair…I Kelly have a shit ton of self-control, even on little sleep with a whore screaming in my head.
So here I am on a Monday rambling instead of getting to a point. I should feel bad but I don’t, it’s my blog and I can do what I want, even ramble. So today I have no words of wisdom, no words to inspire, or stories to make your day better…oh hold it I do have one story…it’s kind of mean. Should I tell it? Insert jeopardy music here…What do you think Alex? Mean whore stories for a thousand? Alex Trebek said “Yes Kelly please” and when Alex asks so nicely who am I to say no?
“The whore”? She is a woman who likes to pretend, remember? She likes to pretend she is the “fairest one of all” and the magic mirror she uses? It lies. She has been known to look around a room as her ‘friends’ stand beside her and proclaim herself out loud “The best looking one in the room.” She is a woman so proud of her flab (fat rolls) that she not only will show them to friends, but to a woman she just met as they left a meeting. (I would have wanted to be a blind fly (so I could hear but not be scarred for life) on the wall for that encounter…I mean how does it even get brought up? “Hey Susan…want to see something really cool? I got sexy flab on my belly AND MY ASS!!” Did the woman swallow back her vomit as her morning cup of coffee made a return appearance? Did she fight the urge to laugh or was it more of a scream? And what did the woman say “Wow that’s a LOT of flab”… I am sad to say I will probably go to my grave without knowing poor Sue’s thoughts on ‘the whore’s’ flab…sigh.)
Why are these my thoughts this morning? Because on days like today they remind me of two things…
1. It was never a competition between me and ‘the whore’. I am smart, pretty, funny, and classy, she couldn’t ever compete with me in the real world. So on my bad days I remember stories others have shared of her to get me back on track.
2. My husband slept with that ^…and the fact that he carries the knowledge and memories around with him daily, makes me think I don’t need to kick him, he’s being punished enough.
I promise tomorrow I will have a ‘real’ story to tell.