Rumor Has It

I have been accused of being a whore…not lately but over the years.

Me…Kelly a whore.

I have laughed about it, because it’s not true. Only man I have touched, kissed, held the hand of, or had any kind of relationship with since meeting my husband 21 years ago, has been him.

I can say it loudly because I have no skeleton’s to jump out of my closet.

I can hang my laundry out for all to see because it’s clean.

Not bragging, but just saying…

I can giggle about being talked about because it’s not true. Rumors which are false I find entertaining, I want to go to the person who started it and ask them to tell me the whole story “Please start at the beginning and don’t leave anything out, I brought my popcorn and cleared my schedule, I want to hear it all”.

I find it flattering and sad at the same time.

Flattering that someone finds me interesting enough to make up a story about me, and sad that I’m so boring someone has to make up a story about me.

People talk about me now, but I’m just a supporting role in the rumors about my family.

The first time I was accused of being a “Whore”? Ten years ago at our county fair, I was accused of sleeping with a family friend to get a winning pig.

Go ahead and laugh, I did.

I was according to the source, a boar whore, a swine slut, a pig prostitute…I came up with those names all by myself, the person who started the rumor wasn’t bright enough to be funny.

We were winning too many shows, and some people got mad. Instead of working harder, they started a rumor, about me. To be fair my husband worked on the road, and they couldn’t wrap their head around being beat by a woman, I had to be cheating to win.

So they decided I was trading sex for help. Just to clear things up? I wasn’t.

Second time I was accused of being a “whore”? It was by…”the whore”.

She told my husband I was cheating with one of his best friends…she knew this from stalking Facebook.

I’ll admit I talk to him on Facebook inappropriately, I am an inappropriate person. I tease, I joke, I say ‘funny’ things…but he knows and I know we are just teasing.

He has known me for 21 years, and we are friends. The kind of friends who are there for each other when bad, or good things happen. He was my biggest supporter when the affair came out, he was my marriages biggest supporter when the affair came out. When my husband told me/asked me about “the whore’s” accusation following D-day, I laughed…bitterly, but I laughed.

If I remember my words right they were “Umm, no I’m not a whore.”

I get it…she had decided if I was cheating then she had the perfect ammunition to make him finally leave me (although he was cheating, so why my cheating was worse? I don’t know), and probably whores like company.

If I was a whore too, it evened out the playing field and brought me down to her level. Her only mistake was my husband knew me, I might not have known him during the affair, but in his messed up heart? He still knew me.

He did during his affair question my friendships with men when we would fight. I think he did it to throw me off the ever-growing scent of whore, and because he wished I would cheat so he didn’t feel so guilty.

I never cheated, never even put myself into a situation where it would happen. If I’m being honest (and I really try to on here) it’s partly because I loved my husband, but mostly because I loved my kids.

I never wanted to be seen in their eyes as anything other than their mom. I wanted to be someone they were proud of, and who never let them down. I know I am not perfect, no mother is, but I tried.

I saw the looks in my sons’ eyes as they confronted their father over the affair, and I pray they never look at me like that. I hope all I ever get is eye rolls, and looks of “Are you serious”, but never the looks of disappointment.

I don’t know if I mentioned it? But I’m not a whore.

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5 Responses to Rumor Has It

  1. The look in your son’s eyes — that killed me. Your husband truly is blessed to have you!

  2. pabloswife says:

    A boar whore? That’s too funny!

    I do wonder why some cheat and others don’t. I have been completely faithful since meeting my husband almost 27 years ago. Like you I have not kissed, held hands or done anything else with any one other than my husband. Yes, there were times I was unhappy, times I had opportunity but NEVER the inclination to do anything with anyone but him. I read that if your parents cheated then you are more likely to (my FIL was a serial cheater) but there was infidelity in my family too, on both my parents parts, yet I am not a cheater and can say with my hand on my heart, that I never will be!

    I’m sure your sons are proud of you and where you are today. Altho I hope you continue to win all the prizes at the country fair or you may just see a glimmer of disappointment in their eyes 😉

  3. brokenjoan says:

    Oh Kelly, you are so sweet & kind, your husband is a lucky man & maybe not while they are teen-agers,but someday your kids will realize what a wonderful mom they had! A gutsy, strong woman, I think you are going to be okay! XO Joan

  4. dianeayre says:

    Ok, this is not the same but this made me think of an event a few years ago. At this point i should mention I am a high school vice princupal. Our school was getting graffiti a lot & 1day I finally made the wall! And the sidewalk and the entire side of a building! I had finally arrived. I really wasn’t bothered by it at all. The wall of the building really bothered a lot of people though & I had several people call to say if it wasn’t covered ASAP they were coming with their paint cans & brushes. It all got covered over, except the sidewalk. It’s hard to paint over a sidewalk during classes without paint footprints all over the place! The sidewalk said “Ayre is a slut.”. They spelled my name correctly and even made a complete sentence! Again, many students went to the principal because it wasn’t covered over quickly enough. Later that day I was called into our police officer’s office (all our public high schools have one for enforcement & education) because he had a young girl there in tears. Someone had called her a slut and she was heart broken. When they explained all this to me, my response surprised both of them and got laughter from both of them. “Hey-me too!”. And I gave her a high five. From that moment the tears dried and we were able to get her through it.

    The reason this came to mind was that sometimes its these events that we know are not true that allow us to model how to cope with life’s adversity. Kelly, you’ve been through hell, but you have been a role model for so many people with this blog. In fact, I’ve used it a few times already to help young girls deal with unfaithful boyfriends. I tell them your story (pg-13 version) to open a discussion about that infidelity doesn’t have to end a relationship-but if you choose to keep him, know it’s not an easy road. I usually suggest that if they’ve only been together a couple of months, it might not be worth saving, but that even if he’s the one, there is no guarantee that he’ll always live up your expectations! And no matter what path they choose, know that relationships are hard work and require lots of communication. Thank you for being willing to put yourself out there!

  5. How bizarre. I am nearly speechless. YOU….a whore?? As strange as it sounds I would almost welcome that. Because it is so patently false. So blatantly unbelievable. The things my husband’s whore called me were a bad wife, I fed the kids junk food, I let laundry pile up. On and on. And you know what? All were based on a kernel of truth. I was so emotionally wrecked by my husband’s behavior, by my suspicions, by watching the two of them…that I began to function at minimal level. The kids got the best of me, and I curled up in a ball many days after they were off to school. My husband and a whore yanked the pen out of my hand and began to rewrite our marital history. She wrote a script and I unwittingly followed it.

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