Wake me up when it’s all over

I woke up last night pissed and hurt…nightmares, I really don’t have them about the affair. I know you’d think I would, but I never really have, I guess maybe because it haunts me (torments me) so much during my waking hours that God gives me a break when I sleep. 

My dream last night? I walked into my bedroom to see my husband with the whore/ who then turned into a prostitute. His defense in the dream was at least this time he was paying for it and she was a cheap whore/prostitute. I woke up as I was beating the shit out of him in my dream.

I’d tell my dream husband this…You paid for the sex before, and she was a cheap whore. She whored herself out over some cheap gifts, a lot of lies of feelings (which then became true words of guilt and dis gust which for some reason she never believed only the words she wanted to hear), and dinners at his apartment where he fed her. The only expensive part of keeping his whore was the cost paid by his family.

We were the ones who paid in tears and heartbreak, we paid with our embarrassment and pride. We paid with our family.

“Hey Mr.Dream Husband you don’t know shit, your whore was expensive not cheap!!!” Is what I’d say.

But I’m now not taking to either husband because I’m mad this morning with a dream hangover.

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6 Responses to Wake me up when it’s all over

  1. tough to shake a waking nightmare like that one. hugs

    did you share with your husband this nightmare? if so, what did he do/say?

    • I haven’t had alone time with him today, but I plan to. I’m sure his answer will be “I’m sorry” or “I love you Kelly (insert last name here)” they are his ‘go to’ responses when he doesn’t know what to say.

  2. I had a recurring nightmare during the affair that *should* have told there was more to their relationship. After d-day, I had a new one: I was at our front door/windows trying desperately to get the kids out of the house, which was on fire. I looked out the window and saw my husband and his whore laughing and kissing in the front yard. In one horrific moment I realized they had deliberately set the fire and trapped us inside. I screamed and screamed to him to just let the kids out and I would stay inside and die. They just laughed and kissed.
    Doesn’t take much of a shrink to interpret that one! He was horrified when I told him about it. Part of me felt mean, because he can’t control what “I” dream. However, he essentially did burn our marriage and family to the ground. He damaged me and the kids with his choices. I am thankful he is doing everything he can to build the relationships back up, but it is hard. I love your term “dream hangover”. That is indeed what it feels like. An icky, sick feeling that stays with you most of the day.

  3. ashestoohope says:

    Glad to know someone out there can relate. Look forward to following you as we go thru this journey of healing together.

  4. Poppy says:

    Someone else who doesn’t talk to their husband because of a dream! I do this too, even if it’s some hypothetical imaginings in my head!..

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