Sending You a Kiss

Last week was ‘the whore’s’ birthday…

How to celebrate? I wanted to send her a gift in the mail, but I’m horrible at picking out gifts. What do you send someone like her which will express the right amount of gratitude for knowingly sleeping with a married man, aka my husband? I thought about a pregnancy test, so next time she lies to a wife she can send her a faked one along with her letters of “Hey from the goodness of my heart I’m telling you this”. The Dollar Store was out of them though and I can’t go over my budget for her. I thought about sending her my blog, printed off with the cover being a zoomed in picture of her fat thigh being strangled by her beloved garter. I even had the title ready “Whore’s a hard smell to get out”, but the shipping was once again over my ‘one dollar budget’. I wanted to name a star after her but guess what? They won’t let you put “The Can Can Whore” on a star…those self righteous bastards wouldn’t even listen to my argument of “But that’s her name and she likes it I swear she does, she wears it proudly and loudly as she struts about town looking like a whorish peacock” They refused, I got mad, they hung up…sigh…she will never have a star named after her. Jenny Craig won’t deliver meals to Alaska so I am stumped…totally and completely stumped.

So here I sit depressed because I didn’t get to help her celebrate, and I hear she is aging so well. She is turning into her mother, I’m hoping by her 40th I will have saved enough to help her get her stomach banded too, just like ‘bat shit crazy’ did…I have an old dog food dish I’m saving a penny a day in, I hope to deliver it to her in person someday. So instead today I will just have to sing her ‘Happy Birthday’ loudly and off-key so maybe she will hear me.

“Happy Birthday to ‘The Whore’
Happy Birthday to ‘The Whore’
Happy Birthday dear ‘The Whore’
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ‘THE WHORE’!!!!”

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4 Responses to Sending You a Kiss

  1. brokenjoan says:

    Kelly, I am so sorry, I wish I could say more, will this hurt never ever go away, is this the only option we have, accepting the fact this is the rest of our lives, like it or not. People have choices in other matters, as our husbands can attest to, but the betrayed spouse gets to either leave their husband and be miserable or stay with him & be miserable, at least it’s beginning to seem that way. I am 18 months past D-day & this past week for me everything has gone down hill. I have moved out of our bedroom & can think of nothing but the affair. I have had him move out of the house twice, what a waste of money, it solved nothing! I can’t see this new bedroom arrangement solving anything either, but it seems to make me feel as though I have a little control over the situation, does that make any sense? Maybe I need to go back on my meds, they didn’t seem to do any good, but my friend told me I didn’t stay on them long enough. Were you on meds & did they seem to help you at all? I can’t seem to stop ranting, I wanted to say something to make you feel better, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t it! LOL!!! Hugs from a still broken Joan

    • I’m actually having a good day Joan, it’s a beautiful day and as soon as I get the house picked up I’m taking Lou to the park to play. I just had a thought this morning which was “What would I buy the whore for her birthday if I was to get her a present?” It was actually kind of fun to write, ‘Crazy Kelly’ had a million ideas 🙂

      I am so sorry you are having a bad time right now. You are right we are stuck with the bad, crazy, sad emotions everyday thanks to our husbands cheating. I never went on meds, because I’m stubborn and stupid…I felt as if by doing it I was letting ‘her’ win, and as much as my family and friends pleaded with me I wouldn’t listen…You can’t argue with crazy and I tend to embrace my crazy. I do know you have to be on them for awhile for them to work, and have to have them adjusted if necessary. Go talk to a doctor Joan and get some help, I want you to find your happy again my sweet friend.

      Huge Hugs to you today….Kelly

  2. Speaking pregnancy tests, did you know you buy positive tests online? How sick is THAT shit? Buy a positive test and give your married boyfriend an effing heart attack. See if you can coerce him into leaving his REAL family. OMG.

  3. Nephila says:

    I’m right there with you. Argyrodes got a birthday gift from me 2 years running. Last year I told her husband and showed him many transcripts. This year I chose that day to reply to her ridiculous email about her parcel. Happy birthday.

    I don’t think the pain ever goes away. And that’s regardless of whether we stay or go.

    Thinking of you all!

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