Sweet Child of Mine

A sweet friend of mine went to court to fight for custody of her child, and it made me think ” What if I would have had to fight for Laney?”

I don’t think about fighting for my boys, they are old enough they would be able to choose and in my heart? I know they would have chose me. How can I say that? This is their home, I’m not talking about the house we live in or even the town, I’m talking about ‘ME’ I’m their home. I’m their security blanket, their sense of family, the center of their spinning world…I AM HOME. Alaska, their father and ‘the whore’ were never going to be what they ran to when they had a bad day, it was always gonna be my kitchen counter/table and me. I was the one who potty trained them, taught them to tie their shoes, to spell their names, and to say ‘Thank You’. I was the one who read them stories at bed times, gave them baths, kissed their ‘ouchies’ and covered them with Superhero band-aids. I was the one who had cookies baked for after school snacks, grounded them for bad grades, hounded them to clean their rooms, and lectured them about girls. I was their mom, they were never gonna leave me, but Lou was 2.

In the first couple weeks, I had walking nightmares about ‘the whore’ getting her hands on Lou. The thought of her even touching my daughter made me cringe. If I had decided not to give my husband a second chance, and he started up with ‘the whore’ again? I knew I’d go to court and fight till my death before letting her have access to my daughter. My husband at one point told me in an argument he would “Fight for rotating weeks with Laney”. What he wanted was her with me one week, and then with him the next. ‘The whore’ had the same custody agreement with her ex husband, and mine thought he could get it too. I remember laughing at him and telling him “Good luck with that, your ex is a whore, and didn’t have a leg to stand on in court. I have been a stay at home mom for 20 years who has done everything for our kids while you were on the road, you don’t have a chance in Hell.”

Would he have gotten shared custody of Lou? I don’t know, it didn’t ever go there, and I’m glad she is being raised by both of her parents. She will never have to be shipped around for holidays, and school breaks. She will never have to be introduced to ‘the whore’, or be disinfected when she comes home from spending time with ‘the whore’. She is getting the chance to have the same childhood as her brothers, and while not perfect, it isn’t so bad either.

I pray for my friend and her day in court…I hope they see she has been the one raising and loving her child every single waking moment. I hope they see how much she has changed her life, and how it now rotates around her child and it’s needs. I’m hoping good wins again in court, and her baby gets to be raised by a mom who will be selfless, and strong.

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3 Responses to Sweet Child of Mine

  1. pabloswife says:

    WOW… I couldn’t imagine my kids living with their dad for any length of time let alone the whore too! Like you I’ve mostly been a stay-at-home mom. My husband has been absent for a lot of their childhood for work and then obviously absent, certainly in spirit, for the last 2 years while he was fucking and messaging the whore. There is no way he would ever get his hands on my kids and absolutely no fucking way he’d ever have them if he was shacked up with some whore! But the sad thing is, I don’t think he’d even want to fight to see them for more than a day or two, anymore than that and he’d loose his mind!

    We wrote our wills recently, since D Day. I was thinking of adding a clause that if I were to die, in suspicious circumstances 😉 or not, that if ever he moved the whore into our house, the kids would learn that he’d fucked her while I was alive!! I thought the lawyer might have me committed if I asked for this to be included but maybe I should write a small addendum of my own and tuck it away, somewhere safe! 😉

    I’m glad your daughter is being raised in a two parent family, just like her brothers and hopefully, despite the infidelity, it’s a better two parent family than the one your boys grew up in. You know you are together because you love each other and definitely not because its the easiest thing to do. Your husband is home more now and hopefully more present in her life and she is growing up surrounded in the love that she, and all kids, deserve.

    I hope your friend has a successful day in court xx

    • You made me laugh loudly and suddenly at the will comment…I always say “Crazy loves Crazy” and it’s true I love you. My kids and family already know about the affair so if I died suspiciously he’d have to answer to my sister. Knowing this (and that he knows it) I’m able to sleep like a baby even on my crazy days.

      Lou’s home is getting better I know she’s happy again. I know I won’t ever take any moment of happiness for granted again.

      • Hope says:

        I am glad that I have find your blog. I am trying to heal after discovery at 2011 of my husband’s nearly 6 years affair. He screwed ( plus showered with our family finances ) the infamous prostitute for duration of 5 and half years – from 2006 till 2011. His whore – its a complete separate subject – she is a professional prostitute – masseur – who screw for cash a lots of married man / every man she comes across. But represents herself like a ” single poor naive nearly virgin unexperienced ” woman , who does not had a sex or partner for a “long time ” , with no money and with a lots of financial major “needs”. Like a lots of money needed for “mother’s” medical “operation” , “father’s” “treatment” , “son’s” “problem”. All, utter – utter lies and fake stories !. She is just a very skillful money sucker, fraudster, conwoman and professional prostitute masseur . Which he obviously did not know . She have purchased since then a new expensive flat and a new expensive car for herself ( all from our money – i have financial evidence,, bank transfers etc ). The affair was pre-planned – he have been asking me – to bring home a masseur -as he wanted to have massage at home after work – my previous masseurs ( the real ones ) was not “good enough”.Little I knew what kind of”masseur ” he is looking for …. Till I brought that one from a hairdresser’s salon – she was so simple and all covered up – from top till bottom . Good camouflaged prostitute . Well – obviously – he straight away sensed that she is up to “It “! And so did she ! She go to ppl’s houses with only one purpose – to find herself a cash machine man .Since that day my hell started – I was totally unaware of what was happening with my life for 6 torturous years . Since he started his pre planned affair with her – he also started severely abuse me mentally, verbally , emotionally , physically , sexually, financially. Looking back – I am in total disbelief now , never mind another ppl -how did I managed to survive at all . I was hardly functioning – just to go through the daily routine of looking after 2 young kids – youngest were a baby. Then more I was compliant to any of his whim – then more my situation would get worse – then more he would abuse me. At the end – I was always on the unbearable physical agony from injures – from broken ribs , strangulation , battering my head on the hard surfaces , like wooden floor , kicks – punches all over my body ( obviously all under my clothes ). I was too ashamed to confess to anyone about what’s happening behind closed doors – did not seek medical help, just suffered in silence . If I did had to seek the help – I would tell that I fell from stairs etc ..Eventually -when I knew – that next time – when he will beat me – he will kill me- I had to call a police. I had to call a police 3 times 1st year in 2011. Obviously he knew how to act when the officers arrive – he would be smart , reasonable – when I was all mess and tears. He would tell the police – that I am the trouble maker, that I made it all up, crazy one etc. It is all in the past now – I have received a help / counselling I needed . I do not afraid of him anymore – and I will never – ever let him touch any of my single hair- spring. Our youngest son is 8 and half years old now. 3 years is on – I still fell angry – and I don’t now -when the pain will go away. I do suspect that it will never go away. I have read you notes and it is a lots of similarities.regarding after affair life and caring for kids . My main concern /difficult dilemma – that I do not want him to have unsupervised meetings with kids. I do not want him to be around kids without me be around. Due to the fact that he will brainwash kids , poisoning against me ( I know one mum – her ex did that to their kids ) . He will say to kids that it’s all my fault that he had an affair ( he is still trying to feed that shit even to me , never mind kids – that I was so “bad” – that he had to turn to OW ). And I do not want my kids be around any of his prostitutes. About supervised meeting under professional supervision at the Visitation Houses ( or whatever name they have ) – well my kids will not like it. I did not press charges against him for the abuse – for the same reason – did not want my kids ashamed – affected . So I have to let him to come at weekends ( he works abroad now ) to see the kids and stay at my house at separate bedroom. . So it is kinda looks for kids that we are family. Where we are obviously not family at all. I wish that I would never see him again in my life – but for my kids sake – as they will miss him – I have to let him to be around the kids and consequentially around me. Some ppl ( normally ones who never experience anything like that ) say to me – that I have to move on with my life – forget about past , not let the past affect my present ! Yeaa – that a great piece of advice – I agree – teach me how to do that – and I am with you – my smarties. Though I have to admit – I think I am doing well now – not brilliant – but well. Hope . xx

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