I wonder who my daughter would be if the affair hadn’t happened…
I’m not the same person I was, couldn’t be if I tried, so I’m not the mom I was to my boys. I catch myself sometimes rolling my eyes when she plays “princess” and explaining stories to her.
We laid in bed the other night watching Shrek, and as he came into the tower to save the princess I paused the movie..
“You know what’s wrong with this Lou,” I asked as she looked at me in surprise for stopping during an exciting part.” She was waiting for the prince to save her. She should have climbed down the tower and slayed the dragon herself!! We don’t wait on a man to save us…”
Lou nodded in agreement with me and I pushed play. It’s not the first time she’s heard the words. She should be listening to fairy tales and ‘Happily Ever After’ instead she gets lectured about depending on a man.
When she complains of a feed bucket being heavy, she hears “You can lift it…you are stronger than you think!!”
When a spider scares her and she screams for a ‘Bubba’ to kill it? I hand her a shoe and tell her “Kill it!! You aren’t scared!!”
When night comes and shadows scare her as she walks through the house? I tell her “Monsters aren’t real, look at the shadow and see what it is…You aren’t going to hide with covers over your head.”
I don’t want my daughter to be like me when she’s grown, I want her to be more. I want her to be prepared for real life, not to be shocked when it gets ugly and hard. I want her to yell at little girls who scream when boys pull their piggy tails…
“What is you’s stupid? Stop screaming for a teacher to save you and make them quit yourself!! Hand me your shoe and I’ll show you what to do…”
I want her to be tough enough to always save her own damn self…