I was talking to my husband this weekend, about me.
I know ‘crazy ‘ words you be speaking Kelly. It’s me too ‘Sane Kelly’ talking ‘Crazy Kelly’ is taking a nap, hopefully a long one she is exhausting to keep under control.
The wedding had her and ‘Sad Kelly’ bubbling to the surface, I’m happy to report neither made an appearance and I was able to be there for my ‘kid’. I was bossy and busy, flying around the reception, and at times I felt normal. It reminded me of being happy, which hurt.
Happy days make me sad, how screwed up am I that on the days when I feel happy it’s followed by sadness. Watching two kids I love get married surrounded by my family makes me sad. I told my husband this weekend…
“I remember how it felt to be happy, I remember being completely happy…and I don’t know if I will ever feel that way again.”
Sixteen months later and happy still hurts, because I know it won’t last.
Happy thoughts for you all to ponder this deary Monday morning.