I Love

Yesterday had me thinking (dangerous I know).

Someone, or several someone’s have unanswered questions about me. Which I guess more I think about it, the more it cracks me up. I am boring, ordinary and really an OPEN book. So I guess I could be creeped out (yes I still am slightly) or I could just answer questions.

So here you go…

My name is Kelly, I was named for my grandfather. His nickname was Elly but they misheard him when he signed up for World War II and they started calling him ‘Kelly’. So in hindsight I am named after a mistake, Thanks Mom.

I grew up in Kansas ( Go Jayhawks…Go Wildcats).

I was a cheerleader because I’ve always been tiny.

I played basketball which was funny. I’m 5’2″ but I made up for my height by being a bitch when it came to defense.

I started and ended my education in the same little town.

I never looked back when I left.

I am a child of divorce.

My dad died when I was 5? 6? I don’t know for sure, I was little.

I have issues from my childhood.

I think I have now 40 years later dealt with them.

I have two sisters.

I am the middle child.

The sister I refer to on my blog is my older sister. ( I just like to point out she’s older)

I met my husband a couple months after I turned 19.

I met him at college…I was a cheerleader, he was on the judging team.

It wasn’t love at first sight.

I wanted to be an English teacher or a writer.

I ended up being a mom.

I got engaged to my husband 6 months after meeting him.

I then got pregnant a month later.

It wasn’t the other way around (Fuck you whore and your assumptions of why we got married)

We got married after I had my oldest son.

I refused to be fat in my wedding dress.

My oldest son was a ‘bastard’ I was once told this by a stranger.

I hope Karma bit them in the ass and they now rot in Hell.

I never tried to hide this fact from my oldest son, in fact we often joke about him being a ‘bastard’.

He is well rounded, funny, smart, handsome, and a great kid…not too bad for a bastard.

I have four kids.

Three oldest are boys…and then there was Lou.

Laney and Lou are her nicknames, I also call her ‘Boo’.

My boys are almost grown.

Lou is four.

Lou is a handful.

The whore claimed I had Lou to fix my marriage.

I’d still like to punch the whore in the face.

We took a family vote to decide to have Lou.

I wanted to take in foster children, and maybe adopt.

I was out voted.

I have been blessed to have real friends in my life.

I have had not so real friends in my life.

The later made me appreciate the former more.

I have now been married longer than unmarried.

There are days I don’t know how I feel about that.

I am funny.

Some people don’t find me funny.

I am still funny.

I am three days younger than my husband.

He has been mistaken for my father.

He doesn’t find the humor in it like I do.

My husband was the first person I ever really loved.

My oldest son was the second.

My husband was the first person I ever actually hated.

The whore was the second.

I found God through my husband’s affair.

God, Faith, and Love saved me.

I am not an angry person.

I now know what it’s like to be an angry person.

I still struggle on my best days.

If I laugh too hard I get the hiccups.

I have a black dot in my iris.

I have a bald spot on my head from a cactus falling on it when I was a teenager.

It hurt.

A lot.

Not as much as my heart did when I found out about the affair.

I like to bake.

I hate doing dishes.

One of my favorite foods? Hot mashed boiled egg with butter and salt and pepper.

Don’t judge.

I am a horrible dancer.

I am still probably better than the whore on her can can tours through the bars of Valdez.

I love kids.

I’d have twenty if I could afford them.

I wanted another baby.

I don’t now.

No other explanation needed on that one.

I prefer teenage boys to teenage girls.

Boys giggles are sweeter.

I’m glad I had boys.

I’m thankful for their wives and girlfriends.

My sons have good taste in women.

They don’t get that from my husband.

I am a bitch on here sometimes.

Better a bitch on my blog than a bitch in person.

I might get a t-shirt made with that on it.

I have a kind heart.

I love animals.

I didn’t grow up on a farm.

I love living in the country.

I never listened to country music before my husband.

I now can’t listen to country music because of my husband.

I raise cows and pigs because my husband loves it.

I raise puppies because I love it.

On my best days I’d still like to throat punch the whore.

It might take the whiny, nasally quality out of her voice.

I am not a violent person.

I wish I was.

I’m glad I’m not.

I’m too cute for prison.

I have thought of writing a book.

“Whore’s a hard smell to get out”

A title is easy, trudging down the road of hurt and whores is hard.

I have hope on my bad days.

Kids give you that…hope.

I’m glad if I could only be one, a writer or a mom, I was a mom.

I still don’t think ‘My husband’s affair was the best thing that happened to me”.

I think my children’s births were the best thing that happened to me.

I think I’d still marry my husband if I could do a redo.

I still like my life.

I still love my family.

I still like to laugh.

I still hate whores.

I don’t think any of those things are going to ever change.

“I love little baby ducks, old pick-up trucks, slow-moving trains, and rain
I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, sunday school in may,
And hay
And i love you too

I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends, birds in the world, and squirrels
I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups, bourbon in a glass, and grass and i love you too

I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions
I love winners when they cry, losers when they try, music when it’s good, and life
And i love you too”

-Tom T Hall-

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to I Love

  1. pabloswife says:

    I love you my teeny tiny, whore hating, throat punching, bald spotted, mashed egg eating, puppy raising, too cute for prison, whore hating buddy ol’ pal 😍

  2. brokenjoan says:

    Love this post, but love you more! I could actually see all of us on here being great friends in real life, not just blog life! Without a doubt all my blog girlfriends are some of the smartest, funny bad ass women I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know! I hope we all come through this & someday, find happiness again! XO Joan

    • Joan you have a friend in me (humming the music from Toy Story) and if you ever come down through my part of Oklahoma? We will have a cup of spiked coffee and I’ll bake you some cinnamon rolls or scones.

      Your love is returned, I too pray we all find the happiness that we used to have.

  3. nikki says:

    i searched “write blog about husband’s affair.” and your blog popped up first. It’s been a year exactly plus a few days from the day my husband and i split up. (still waiting on divorce decree to be acknowledged by court.) your comment “no, i still don’t think that my husband’s affair is the best thing that has happened to me.” made me immediately tear up. i’ve been skimming through your blog and your candidness and unfiltered form of writing is exaclty how i think, and how i assumed other women in our situation thought. I’ve never understood when the paradigm shift of what it is to be classy, honorable, respectful when your spouse does something like this will change. there are so many things i want to share, the story of what happened, the emotions that we go through, the “day dreams” of slashing their tires, salting their gardens putting sugar in their gas tanks, or straight up just decking them. The pressure of staying “collected”, of holding ourselves to a higher standard. The waiting for karma to do her work, or justice whatever that may mean. but you’re right, i still don’t think this is the best thing that has happened to me. I can say that out loud because yes, I am happier, I have met someone who plays better with my soul. but the pain and everything else that is wrapped up into it doesn’t fade. or i mean it’s not there as much, but anytime i think about it, about him/her/anything relating to them it’s right there again. sharp, with an edge that cuts just as deep as the beginning. you inspire me to write my own story. sometimes i feel that that is what i want. I want people to hear my story. everything, from the moment i caught them in my home and i dressed her in my clothes because she was too drunk to dress herself. talk about lifetime drama movie. but thank you. thank you for voicing your thoughts. thank you for making transparent everything that most of us think and feel.

    • Wowzers lol I like the way you think…I’m glad you like my blog, I like what it has done for me. It gives me a place to vent and has given me new friends. It has helped heal me and made me feel less alone.

      Write away, you might find it does the same for you.

    • horsesrcumin says:

      Wow! Nikki. Must read you. Agree, With, Everything. Want to punch Anne Bercht (can’t be arsed Googling if that is right) in the nose. I don’t care if and how you are doing, but don’t EVER, EVER, EVER say your, or my, or anyone else’s husband’s affair is the best thing that ever happened. If that is true, I feel fucking sorry for you! I had a fantastic life, and this fucked it up no end. There is no better, just changed. For the worse. And we learn to cope somehow, Eventually.

      • I am a better person now, I can say that. I am more sad, more careful and more guarded. I don’t want to punch her, but I’m sorry her life is better now. How horrible it must have been.

      • horsesrcumin says:

        I am so glad for you, Kelly 🙂

        I am not a better person. I am a different person. I always had truckloads of empathy, and understood the pain that people could inflict on one another. I was a good person, a fantastic friend, a pretty good mother, a great employee and a truly fabulous partner. I always said that much as I love my kids, I chose their father, and they just “happened.” I put the kids first a lot, but at the end of the day, it was all about us, we were going to be around (or so I thought) together a lot longer than it takes to raise a clutch of kids. I chose to spend time, effort and love on him. Now I am sadder. I still have the empathy, but with an even deeper understanding of it, I could still be a fantastic friend, but I have none anymore, I am a worse mother and employee than I was in many ways, with such a short attention span, and I am a worse partner, because I don’t love him the way I once did. I can be a little mean sometimes, not bad, but I wasn’t mean before.

  4. Sissy says:

    I swear coffee spewed out my nose at your potential book title. I’m so going to borrow that. Anytime husband asks what’s wrong I’m going to say that to him. Whores a hard smell to get out. Bahahahahaha. And that article, about the affair being the best thing to happen, is total bullshit. Every time I see it in my search results I want to punch the screen. *hugs

    • I’m glad you like it 🙂 I actually first wrote the words in my post Stacy’s Mom, and when it popped in my head I giggled. I think people would buy it just for the title. Nothing more needs to be said, just stating a fact people…Whore beats frebreeze, it beats any scentsy product, and you can air out your house but the smell still lingers.

      Hugs back at you

  5. Confused Wife says:

    Love you loads my articulate, sassy, beautiful, loyal, daring, gracious, hilarious, generous, simply stunning friend xx

    • Please don’t call me sassy, I know a whore who likes to think she is 😉 then of course she thinks she’s a size 0, so she is delusional…Thanks for the compliments and right back at you. I now use noober, and giggle every time I do thanks to you

  6. brokenjoan says:

    Glad other people feel the same way about Ann Brecht, what kind of marriage did she have if her husbands’ affair was the best thing that ever happened to it! He must be one total fuck of a human being & well for some reason she makes me mad! Of course you have to remember they have now made a lucrative business out of him fucking a whore, correction his alleged fucking of a whore, he of course said it never went that far!!! I won’t even read her drivel after I found out the name of her book, come on Ann, I think you know Brian, had little Brian doing the dirty deed! At least have the lady balls to admit that & wipe that smug ass look off his face!!!!

  7. Jamie says:

    Love the title! I would buy it. Kelly I hate what brought you to blogging but thankful that you are doing it. You have helped me immensely.
    Whoever says that an affair is the best thing to ever happen to them isn’t from this planet!

    • Jamie if I ever decide to write a book, I will send you a signed copy. I’m sorry too about what brought me to blogging, I’m not even a little sorry about the people I have met on here through it. I still believe (or believe because what I’ve been through) that God puts us on every path for a reason. I was put on my path to heal and become a better person, and because maybe my story could help others along the way.

      I’m sorry you are here reading my words. I wish we had never met. I wish we were both reading blogs about baking and DYI…

  8. Jamie says:

    My girls have had such a hard time with all of this on top of the move across the country. A few months ago I started having them pick three things that they were thankful for. At bed time we say our prayers and talk about all of the things that we are thankful for. I am trying to get them to focus more on the good and less on the bad. Recently my twelve year old said ” Mom I know that God has a plan for us but I am really sad. I want you and daddy to be good again.” I have to keep focusing on them and moving past the heartache. I have to not let this define me. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I haven’t ever felt so alone in my life. Finding your blog has been a lifesaver. God works in mysterious ways. Thankful to have met you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s