The Holiday Song

I have been silent for a reason.

Out of respect for this weekend’s holiday, I wanted to stay quiet and just let everyone enjoy themselves.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

I’m sure you did, it’s your most cherished weekend of the year, one you hold sacred. I know how you prepare for it, all the practices you attend. How much time you spend primping in the mirror, practicing your weird lip pucker, and fluttering your eyes. I bet you practice your kicks there too, and your different poses.

<em>”Have you ever considered looking sideways, or turning around and looking at your ever-expanding backside?”

Now I only ask as a fan. I am one you know, I look forward to the first weekend in August all year. I enjoy seeing how ‘well’ you’ve aged, and how large you have gotten. I love all the pictures you post of yourself all dressed up in your costume.

“Do you still get a start on the evening by getting drunk at home first?”

You know having drinks before you go to the bars and enjoy your attention. Does your husband/ex-husband/poor bastard/chump, feel proud or is he like my husband (you remember him? Your true love, the one you would wait forever for, the love of your life…I often wonder how your chump feels about that too, but don’t let me get off track) and he feels disgust and is embarrassed for you? Me, I’m not embarrassed for you, nope I enjoy the show.

It’s the one weekend of the year that YOU get to be YOU. You get to shake your ass, show off your famous thighs and let the world see you as you truly are…The Can Can Whore of Valdez…sigh not everyone gets their own holiday. You, my husband’s ex-whore, you are special and you do.

Last night was all whore’s eve in Valdez, and I’m sure you enjoyed yourself. I’m sorry it only comes around once a year. I’m sorry you have to wait for your kids birthdays to pass, Christmas to go by, Easter baskets to be given, before your holiday comes again.

I didn’t want to rain on your ‘parade’ (yes she is in an actual parade…I can’t make this shit up), so I kept my blog quiet. But don’t you worry your little simple head, I haven’t gone anywhere. I had family stuff to do, and back to school to get ready for, but mostly I wanted you to enjoy your week.

Happy Can Can Whore Of Valdez Weekend Everyone!!!!

Well sit right down my wicked son
And let me tell you a story
About the boy who fell from glory
And how he was a wicked son

This ain’t no holiday
But it always turns out this way
Here I am with my hand

He took his sister from his head
And then painted her on the sheets
And then rolled her up in grass and trees
And they kissed ’till they were dead”

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5 Responses to The Holiday Song

  1. horsesrcumin says:

    Ooooo. Love me a good Pixies reference!

    Here’s to surviving Can Can Whore of Valdez weekend x.

    PS. You’re funny as shit!!!

  2. work in progress says:

    Is she 1, 2, or 6 in line up of can can chicks. Yes, I found the website. I wanted to see what a can can whore actually looks like. I saw the pic u posted of you, and u r beautiful. Don’t know what your husband was thinking. Btw u r hilarious

    • No comment, but I will say I was mistaken she wasn’t an official can can girl this year, she just dressed up like one and followed them around…even more pathetic.

      I won’t post a picture or say her name on here, sorry. I can’t tell you which one she is in a picture.

      Thank you for your compliment, I like to think I’m funny but I hear it’s an acquired taste 😉

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