Better Dig Two

My husband wished I loved him more.

He wishes I loved him like he loves me now. I wish he had loved me, like I loved him before and during his affair. If that mythical magic fairy could fly out my ass, we’d have two of our wishes already used up. What would I do with my last wish? (Insert evil laugh here) I’d give the whore genital warts on her face, sigh. unfortunately, love and warts ain’t gonna happen, my ass is alas bare of fairies.

I like to think I’m a keeper of promises, if I promise you something I will do it. I am just made that way. I made my husband a promise once, a couple of years before the affair. We were driving home and he randomly mentioned a woman we knew who had lost her husband. She moved on rather quickly and my husband was dumbfounded, he asked me not to. If he ever died, he asked that I mourn him for at least a year before I went and found someone to replace him. I laughed at him, and then realized he was serious.

I remember taking his hand as we were pulling up our driveway and telling him, “I promise if you ever die, I will mourn you forever.”

He got a little mad, and jerked his hand away, because he thought I was joking and replied, “I’m being serious!!”

I looked him in the eye and took his hand again, “And so am I…”

I made my husband a promise, and I never make them lightly. I like when I give my word, for people to know it means something. In the world we all live in today, promises need to be kept.

I like my new husband, he’s a really good guy. He tells me he loves me constantly and even more important to someone like me? He shows me daily through his actions. There is absolutely nothing he won’t do to make me happy, or smile. He drove a thousand miles a couple of weekends ago to get me a new puppy, this last weekend he started me a kennel for the litters I raise. He does ‘honey dos’ before I even point them out. He is the kind of husband a girl dreams about.

I made a promise though, to my first love, to my ‘first’ husband. He died four years ago, no one mourned his passing but me.

And I will mourn him forever.

“Here lies the girl who’s only crutch
Was loving one man just a little too much
If you go before I do
I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two
Dig two

I took your name when I took those vows
I meant ’em back then and I mean ’em right now
Oh right now

If the ties that bind ever do come loose
If forever ever ends for you
If that ring gets a little too tight
They might as well read me my last rights

And let the stone say

Here lies the girl who’s only crutch
Was loving one man just a little too much
If you go before I do
I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig
There’ll be a stone right next to mine
We’ll be together til the end of time
Don’t you go before I do
I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two

I told you on the day we wed
I was gonna love you til I’s dead”

-The Band Perry-

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5 Responses to Better Dig Two

  1. julesedison says:

    So true. We mourn the husband who died when they decided to become someone who only thought of themselves. It really is very much like a second marriage. You nailed it again.

    • It is like a second marriage, bad thing is I don’t know if I ever want to be ‘married’ again. I take it seriously and think trust and faith our a HUGE part of marriage. I don’t know if I will ever have them in me to give someone again.

  2. Great post, Kelly and so beautiful, really! Yeah, I think that’s the thing about infidelity that hurts the most. It’s the mourning of what was…what they were…what the marriage was. xxoo

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