“So assholes and death, Kelly, huh?”Bob asks me.
“Nothing else bothers you about September?” Bob questions.
“Hmm, I think you are pushing things down again Kelly,” Bob advices,” If I remember right it doesn’t usually end well.”
“Bob you are an asshole.”
“I’m actually a figment of your imagination Kelly,” Bob replied laughing,” and if I’m an asshole, what does that say about you?”
Sometimes I hate Bob, my inner psychologist, he won’t let me ignore the issues. He’s always all “You have to face your inner demons, and slay them or they will never go away“.
I know this, I really do, but sometimes it is hard. I am so tired, so stinking tired, and I want to bury my head in the sand. But I’m not made that way. I wish I was.
Why is September so hard? What is it that has brought me to my knees, again? Why am I arguing with Bob instead of going all Towanda (Fried Green Tomatoes…haven’t watched it? Please do so.) on my issues like I usually do? Why so silent lately? Why is my husband begging me to write more, to get it out?
“WHAT THE HELL IS UP KELLY!!??!!?!”
Next week is my 20th wedding anniversary….
It was always supposed to be kind of a big deal…
And I honestly don’t know how I’m going to face it…
More later I promise, but I can’t write about it today…
I really dislike Bob today.
“I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, “Where you been?” He said, “Ask anything”
Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone it never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad
Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me
But in the end everyone ends up alone“