Have You Ever Seen The Rain

I am going to answer the questions you all ask when you find me…

The ‘search’ words you type and then my blog shows up, the first words that come into your head when the Google box pops up. I’m not going to waste time on the ‘Can Can Whore’ searches, or ‘Happiness used to live here’, those are by people trying to actually find my blog. So here we go, how I would answer the following searches…

can a 20 year marriage survive an affair?) Yes, it can survive. You can survive. It will suck, it will hurt, and you will cry, at times want to maybe even die… but you and your marriage can survive. I’m really, really sorry you are going through this.

spend more time with my son and less time with the crazy bitch?)Please do, unless you are referring to your wife. I know wives can be crazy, but I’m willing to bet you had something to do with her being that way. If the ‘crazy bitch’ is a girlfriend or mistress? Please chose your son and put him first.

ugly girls stay after cheating?) Really? Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, I don’t think ‘ugly’ has anything to do with it. My husband cheated on me, I’ve been told I’m not ugly and I stayed. So please don’t assume only ugly girls stay.

what should i do if my husband claims to have ended an affair but actually didn’t?)First kick him in the balls, no seriously walk up, say nothing and kick him…hard. Then tell him that’s how he’s made you feel with his affair, and lying. As he is laying there let him know he needs to pack his shit and get out. You deserve better, you have to demand better, and if he continues he needs to go somewhere else. What an asshole!!

husband says i am a whore after cheating) Well you aren’t going to like this, but he can say it. You cheated. You cheated on him, and he is angry. He gets to be angry. I said a lot worse to my husband, and he will say a lot worse to you it is a side effect of cheating. You get called names, and you have an angry spouse. Sorry no sympathy here, because you made the choice to cheat, knowing it was going to hurt him.

my husband cheated and says I’m having a pity party) Your husband needs to realize you get to have a pity party. You life as you know it is over, your marriage as you knew it is gone, and your heart is destroyed…Huge pity party, I’d hire a band, a caterer, and hang up a sign (Pity party for one). Then I’d pull up my big girl panties and figure out how to go on. I’d also do some serious soul-searching about my husband, because your husband sounds like a complete ass. How dare he belittle your grief, your loss? If he can’t support you and change? I’d have a divorce party, with a huge bonfire of his shit to roast his ” hot dog” over.

when man puts affair before child) In my opinion? When you have an affair, you are always putting it before your children. Affairs aren’t good for children. They get hurt, they get ignored, they get confused, and they always get the short end of the stick when dad (or mom) is involved in an affair. No matter what the cheaters might try to say, they are hurting their children. My husband put his affair before our children, that is a fact he will carry around with him forever. I can’t imagine the guilt which comes with the knowledge. I hope ‘your’ man gets his shit together and starts being a dad the child deserves.

lost friends over my affair) Good for your friends, they shouldn’t support your poor choices. Take the hint and be a better person.

after my husband affair, I still hurt and painful) I’m so sorry. I’m also sorry to tell you it’s gonna hurt and be painful for years…probably forever. It will get less painful with time, maybe I should say bearable. There is no quick way to heal.

what makes you a town whore) If you are sleeping with a married man? If you are also sleeping with a bunch of other men? If you then add in your ex husband? If you lie about being raped cuz you got caught whoring around? If you have slept your way through the town, then went back to the start and began again? Or if when a person writes a blog about your town having an “official” whore and EVERYONE in your town assumes it’s about you? You are a town whore…

should i tell my husband that I’m struggling with triggers from his affair) Tell him, TELL him, TELL HIM…he caused the triggers, and the only way he can help is if he knows about them. It is easier to get past them with someone helping you.

im so fucking angry at my husband’s affair) Me too sister, me too… Hopefully you will get less angry with time. Anger isn’t healthy to carry around with you forever. You will always be angry and sad when you think about the affair, just don’t let it consume you.

do you let a whore stay at your house) Umm…NO!!! Never ever EVER let a whore stay in your house. You are not only inviting trouble in to your life, but whore is such a hard smell to get out.

how to stop loving my husband after he had an affair) I never figured that one out either. I really tried too. I guess sometimes you can’t stop loving someone, no matter what. If you are still with him? Try to figure out how to start forgiving, him for the affair, and you for still loving him.

my son just found out about his dad’s affair) My heart breaks for your son. Let him ask what he needs to know, feel how he needs to feel, and be there for him. Someday he will heal if your husband helps him, if he sticks around. If your husband doesn’t he might just lose his son forever.

fairy dust forgiveness) What? If there is a fairy dust you use for forgiveness, please send me some. Or better yet? Let me invest in your fairy dust, we will make SOOOOO MUCH MONEY!!!!

kids don’t want to know me after affair) Did you think they were going to be happy? Truth be known, you didn’t think of them at all did you? Now you want to be around them? You want them to let you in their lives? Well it’s going to take lots of work and time. So either start working to fix what you broke in them, or just leave them alone.

ugly slut sucks me off for two dollars) You too have met the ‘Cancan whore of Valdez’? I see she has increased her price, inflation is a bitch…

“Someone told me long ago there’s a calm before the storm

I know, it’s been comin’ for some time
When it’s over, so they say, it’ll rain a sunny day
I know, shinin’ down like water

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
Comin’ down on a sunny day?

Yesterday and days before, sun is cold and rain is hard
I know, been that way for all my time
‘Til forever, on it goes through the circle, fast and slow
I know, it can’t stop, I wonder

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain
Comin’ down on a sunny day?”

-Creedence Clearwater Revival-

 

 

 

 

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23 Responses to Have You Ever Seen The Rain

  1. kit says:

    Wow, great advice! I have flown over Valdez three times in the last couple weeks. Just wanted you to know that I showed her the finger each time, just for you! You are an inspiration. Keep up the good work. Hugs!!

  2. The last one made me laugh! ❤ you Kelly you are an inspiration to us all!

  3. oncewhole says:

    Kelly, I love, love, LOVE your humor and advice. I wish there was a ‘like’ button after each Q&A so I could show you which ones I liked the most (of course you can probably guess they were the ones that were the most direct and honest). You should start your own advice column! I for one would read it religiously!!

  4. pabloswife says:

    LOL… I may not have seen the rain for a while but your post filled me with sunshine. Love ya Miss Kelly 🙂

  5. bamboozled1 says:

    great responses!!!

  6. Sissy says:

    Lol!! That’s all I got, a bunch of loud giggles for this! Love it

  7. TLM says:

    “Ugly slut sucks me off for two dollars) You too have met the ‘Cancan whore of Valdez’? I see she has increased her price, inflation is a bitch…”

    LMFAO!

  8. horsesrcumin says:

    Jaysus Kelly. You. Are. One. Funny. Bitch. Read some of those out loud to the cheater here. He grinned wryly!

  9. This was seriously good! You make me laugh and smile. Mostly you and these other precious friends make me feel……trying to find the word…….HELD. I am not alone. I am not crazy. So sweet to watch us all walk this out, find some healing and continue to move forward. LOVE YOU!!

  10. I had a saying years ago: “Two things saved our marriage – the automatic ice maker and Google.” Both alleviated either arguments or debates. Go figure!

    Well, the ice maker is broken (ha!) and what comes up with searches for your blog is mind blowing 😉

    Love this post, Kelly!

  11. Chris says:

    Hi Kelly, I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now, my husband and I have been married 19 years. We have 3 kids. Last summer I found out about his affair of 5 months and my life as I knew it was over. I’ve spent the past 15 months since D Day piecing my life, my heart, and my family back together. Marriage counseling, church counseling, learning to control my reaction to triggers…a very tough and long road to where I am today, which is not anywhere close to where I need to be but much closer than 15 months ago. The whore is no longer a daily thought, and that is progress. Well yesterday my husband, myself, and our 4 yr old were checking out at the local grocery store when the whore walks right up to me and tells me to stop texting her?! (FTR it’s been well over a year since I’ve texted her) I became paralyzed as I continued typing my pin # into the credit card pad and kept my back to her until she went away. It took everything I had to not rip her face off in the checkout lane! A year ago she wouldn’t have walked away unscathed. As I thought about the situation later on, I realized how pathetic this whore is that 15 months after the affair ended, she still harbors bad feelings towards me, who did nothing but fight for my family. That was a trigger I didn’t see coming, being face to face with the one person on earth I could kill with my bare hands and not think twice about it. I know a lot if people (I do all the time) read your comments and if it helps just one person, I want them to know IT DOES GET BETTER! It still hurts, it still gets the better if me some days…but not everyday anymore. And if I could get through yesterday, so can all of you. You are strong, you are worth it, just give yourself some time.

    • Sounds to me like she made the scene to try and get attention from your husband. I’m glad you had enough self control not to give her the reaction she wanted. She must also like to play the victim. I don’t know what I would do if I came face to face with the cancan whore? I hope just smile and laugh at how pathetic she is?? But I know my friend had to leave a dinner she was at because the urge to punch the whore was over whelming.

      I’m glad my blog and fellow BS comments have helped you. Hugs to you on your journey healing

  12. I officially love this post — I love your sense of humor and your honesty. You make “two years out” look good!

    • Thank you 🙂 go back to Stacy’s Mom my coming out post where I announced to our small town, her small town and the blog world that I wasn’t going to hide in the dark, listen to the whispers as I walked by, or let the whore get off Scott free…it felt so stinking good 🙂

  13. anonymous says:

    Me and my husband have been together for 8yrs with being married for 5yrs and raising 3 children together…he had an affair almost 2 yrs ago i left him and moved back to my home place well long story short we decided to work things out because we want to make our marriage work….well we found out the other woman ended up getting pregnant and had his child….i try so hard to deal with this and accept it but theres still some part of me that still gets mad or fells like i just hate him for this…but i push my feelings to the back because i want to stay positive through this and dont want to end up losing my marriage over this…am i wrong for feeling like this or am i stupid for staying…i feel so lost some times even when i know he loves me n i love him…what to do just at a loss right now

    • My thoughts? Your husband had an affair and a baby? You are still trying to work on your marriage and survive the level of betrayal that took place? You are still in love with your husband and believe the marriage you have been faithful to, invested in, and gave 8 years of your life for is worth a second chance? You are a survivor and a fighter, I take my hat off to you.
      First deep breath, in through the nose, hold and then out through the mouth. Okay now scream…loud, louder, and repeat a couple times.
      Now stop pushing your feelings back, stop trying to convince yourself that you aren’t angry. You have a right to be angry to be hurt, and you have to accept the anger. You were treated horribly and it is hard when it was by someone you love.
      If you want to make it work? I think you need to talk about the anger. You don’t have to walk around with a fake smile on your face. It sucks, and it is going to hurt…maybe forever. Good thing? It will start hurting less as time goes on, you will learn to control your anger, and maybe someday even forgive him. Someday it will just be a scar, which still hurts sometimes, still itches and is always going to be there, but it won’t be the huge throbbing hurt that it is now.
      Love helps, but man does love also hurt.

      I wish I could tell you some magic words to take away your pain, instead I’m sending you prayers for peace.

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