Oh Henry

Today is my 22nd wedding anniversary…

Do you think it’s too late to ask for a refund?

“Hey Osage County courthouse, I’d like my $20 dollars back, this license you gave me was defective…in fact it didn’t work at all!!”

I’d really like to see the ladies face as I stood there with my old battered copy of our marriage license.

If I told her my story, I like to think she’d give me twenty bucks and a cup of coffee…maybe even a shot of tequila..or two…shit 22 years, make that five, and a margarita chaser.

I will spend my day with children, like every anniversary of the last 22 years.

How did he spend some of his? I have a pretty good idea, and it makes me…angry…sad…slightly fucking bitter.

I like on the other three  anniversaries since D-day, am spending it ignoring the date, teary eyed at times, waiting on it to pass.

Telling myself the day means absolutely nothing to me, because so many years it meant nothing to him…less than nothing…running joke between us used to be how often he forgot it.

So fucking funny when you are so happily married, not so funny when he’s fucking around and doesn’t have the time to remember to call or send flowers.

As you can tell by my over use of FUCK today, I’m maybe a little more angry than even I knew today.

I guess if a girl can’t yell FUCK on her wedding anniversary, when can she yell it?

I’d like to tell you all I’m not sitting in a dark room, writing this and wiping away tears.

I’d like to brag it doesn’t hurt one bit…not even a little…not at all.

Instead I’m here alone for the minute, arguing with my old friends…

“Let’s drink the whole bottle of vodka in the freezer, and then puke all over his side of the closet!!” Crazy Kelly suggests, snuggling down in bed beside me.

“Let’s hop on a plane and go visit our old friend in Valdez, I hear she’s back with her ex-husband. We can pack up the old emails and finally have our revenge!!” Angry Kelly throws herself on the bed, pushing me over.

A sob comes from under a pile of blankets, and a tear stained face pokes out “I just want to lay here and cry..” moans Sad Kelly.

I’m thinking a road trip to Kansas…I want my $20 dollars back my liscense to happiness was bullshit.

Happy Anniversary Kellys you have made it another year.

“Oh the grass is green
Everywhere but under me
Or so it seems

I got a wedding band
In the name of a wandering man
I love the best I can

Oh Henry, have you got something to tell me?
‘Cause everybody’s been sayin’
You been runnin’ around
Oh Henry, I know you wouldn’t hurt me
Don’t you know that we don’t need
One more grave in this town

Boy if you’re smart
You know you’ll only have my heart
‘Til death do us part

Oh you and I both know
That at the end of forbidden road
There’s a six-foot hole

Oh Henry, have you got something to tell me?
‘Cause everybody’s been sayin’
You been runnin’ around
Oh Henry, I know you wouldn’t hurt me
Don’t you know that we don’t need
One more grave in this town

When we wed, we said forever ever and a day
The whole town heard you promise to be true
So boy you’re gonna only give your gypsy heart to me
If it’s the last thing you do, ooo ooh ooh oh woah ooh ooh

Oh Henry, have you got something to tell me?
‘Cause everybody’s been sayin’
You been runnin’ around
Oh Henry, I know you wouldn’t hurt me
Don’t you know that we don’t need
One more grave in this town
Oh one more grave in this town”

-The Civil Wars-

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4 Responses to Oh Henry

  1. horsesrcumin says:

    Survivable Anniversary, Kellys. Don’t know a better way to say it. But tomorrow another one is in your rear view mirror. Raising a glass 🍸

  2. savingshards says:

    You’ve got this. Yes, Kellys…you’ve got this…
    I’m toasting you along with horses…

  3. Oh Kelly XOXO much love from AK not that it means much…
    I think we should all get PO Boxes and send each other things on anniversary days😔😔😔😔😔

  4. Phillip says:

    Hi Kelly, 22 years is a life time, I still believe there’s a congratulations in there somewhere.
    Only 35% of Marriages make it to 25 years, and only 6% makes it to 50 years.
    I think the 6% must be the ones that pushed through no matter what(even a train smash). And frankly to give up now after all this HELL i have gone through does not make sense.

    What you need is a flux capacitor to get your own back. If you could get in that car with a flux capacitor set for 24 September 1994, 3pm and you are asked……..Do you take this husband….
    You have about 2 seconds to answer, the church are all hanging on your words. Would you still say yes…………………………….If that man besides you did not mean the world to you even though he has shown his flaws and ripped out your hart for you to stay 3 years past D day is your answer.

    Its not all gone yet, if you are married for 50 years and takes you 7 years to get over this (2 on his part+5 for you to work this through this) then you still have a 43 years of a semi good marriage………….and lets be honest there are very few people out there with a 43 year semi good marriage……………..Hang in there all you Kelly’s, the shit is about to get better,

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