Ours

D-day is approaching.

It makes me a little angry and sad.

Not totally flipping out crazy anymore, just a little angry and sad.

Hey, that is progress.

My life has been extremely busy, I think that helps me not dwell and immerse myself in the anniversary of the worst day in my life.

I feel God testing me lately, maybe smacking me, because he knows how I am.

My blog and my personal life, were attacked publicly a couple weeks ago. I was told I can’t preach kindness and non judgment in life if I continue to write this blog.

I guess people in my small town think I’m crazy 🙂 for writing about my life.

There is a group of people whom I guess have nothing better to do but read my blog and then discuss how awful I am.

Awful mother.

Horrible wife.

I must need more Jesus in my life.

Those words she uses?

The stories she tells?

Oh my gosh she’s going to Hell!!

As they talk and make their comments about me, on Facebook.

People  who have never set foot in my house.

Have never set at my kitchen counter.

Never had more than a fifteen minute conversation with me.

Who then received messages on their wall congratulating them on putting me in my place?

Thier talk of me, Kelly, acting as if I’m perfect.

I stopped, took a big breath, calmly sat down with a smile.

Then I thanked God for showing me how much I’d grown and how far I’ve come.

Three years ago, they would have brought me to my knees.

Two years ago, I would have called them  out.

Instead I laughed.

I don’t care.

I started writing to heal.

To not feel so alone.

To convince myself I wasn’t crazy.

It has helped to heal me.

I have helped others along the way.

And at some point, I stopped worrying about being crazy and embraced it instead.

I think others would be so much happier if they could make peace with thier own crazy too.

Instead they will spend thier days throwing stones at people like me.

My arm would get way too tired to live like that.

So instead I’ll just sit over here with Angry Kelly, Crazy Kelly, and Sad Kelly.

Bob made popcorn for us 🙂

We’re just going to sit back and watch the rerun of people making a show of calling me out.

“Haven’t we seen this episode before?” Crazy Kelly takes a handful of popcorn.

“Sshh, they mentioned me by name!!” Angry Kelly does a fist pump.

“Bahahaha!! I love this episode!!!” Sad Kelly holds her stomach as tears roll down her face from laughter.

Bob quietly holds out his hand and my fist meets his in a fist bump.

“Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves
They’ll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury’s out, but my choice is you

So don’t you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high, the water’s rough
But this love is ours”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Ours

  1. annasnow says:

    So you’re saying that in your town people are FORCED to read someone’s blog? I’m shocked, because I truly believe that reading a blog should be a CHOICE……..Personally, I choose to read your heartfelt and wonderful blog because infidelity has affected my family and it HELPS to understand the path for others. Thank you for sharing your story and helping many along the way……As for your armchair critics, loan them your shoes so they can walk a mile in them.

  2. pabloswife says:

    When they go low, continue to go high! Your life, your blog, fuck ’em all!! ❤

  3. kaye72978 says:

    Your blog helped me realize that my crazy was a very normal reaction for the hurt I felt. Post after post, in spite of all the pain, all I read was that you loved your husband, your children and your family and they loved you. It makes me feel sad for the people who read this blog and can only find negative things to dwell on. Your blog has been for me a source of support and comfort and I know it will be the same for others too who also will be thrown on this path unwilling. I’m so happy to hear that despite all the ups and down you and your family continue to move forward!

  4. horsesrcumin says:

    What the actual fuck? One of the more freeing aspects of this awful post-infidelity life is the that number of fucks I have to give to fucktards who will never (hmmm, let’s talk after the cheating bomb goes off in their lives maybe) get this shit. If nothing else, these blogs are supposed to be safe spaces to let off steam and be uplifted by those who DO get it. Fuck ’em all! I’m with PW! 🖕

  5. SpaghettiSam says:

    I’m still trying to figure out what it is that you wrote that was so awful. You’re pretty tame compared to a lot of bloggers. And I think the people that need more Jesus are those gossipy people who have nothing better to do than judge you and your blog.

  6. julesedison says:

    Oh my Lord, this is unbelievable to me. I think we should collectively say a prayer for them. Lord, please let these ridiculous women can find Jesus in their lives. Clearly they are confused about Your message of kindness and empathy. Please help them stop being bitches…oops I might have gotten off course there. Head high, big girl pants pulled up as always Kelly. Proud of you girlfriend! –Jules

  7. Thank you guys 🙂 not to worry my feelings weren’t even hurt. I guess I’ve heard it so many times the last three years that I just roll my eyes and keep writing. I don’t know if it’s because my dirty laundry hanging out for the town to see is an easy target for those who don’t love like me? Or if talking about how stained my laundry is makes thiers seem cleaner. I just keep wondering when they are going to get sick of talks by about it and move on. Until that day I’m just sitting over here eating popcorn watching the show 🙂 I wish they’d get some new put downs though…No imagination when it comes to “Calling me out” I’m judgmental and unkind on here, and a hypocrite…and not nice…pass the popcorn please 🙂

  8. Deservesbetter says:

    Pass the popcorn indeed. Those who whisper, talk softly like no one can hear and those who want everyone to hear always have something to hide. If I have learned anything in the last 28 months this devastation is life alterating to the point of wanting to give up. But when you don’t give up, those talkers and gossipers get mean. Well nothing like a good passive aggressive approach. Keep writing, please keep sharing for yourself and all of us out there you have helped along the way. Let me know if you need more butter for the popcorn

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s