Rose Garden

My knockout roses have died…

If you remember, I once talked about having dozens of them surrounding my house.

26 Knockout Roses to be exact.

Pink, Hot Pink, Coral, Yellow and regular, mini, and drift roses.

They got a disease and slowly started dying.

They had these nasty twisted stems.

They fell over and bent.

Even the blooms and the leaves changed.

My sweet friend went to the nursery in town and asked how to save them.

“Pull them up and burn them..” she was told.

And to not plant another rose bush in the hole for at least two years.

TWO YEARS?!?

I went outside and finally started cutting them back.

At first I was heartbroken…I love my roses.

I thought about how much time I spent, digging holes, watering, weeding and fertilizing them.

Some of them were 8 years old.

They were my pride and joy.

As I stood there cutting them down, it hit me.

My roses are like my marriage.

It became diseased.

Ugly.

Twisted.

Finally I had to step back and decide to tear parts of it up.

His Job.

Several Friendships.

Life as we both knew it.

We cut back, tried keeping parts we thought were healthy, might just make it…but in the end, most were ‘burned’.

When we started over?

We didn’t look for the same things.

He’s no longer gone chasing money, and prestiage.

We have a whole new circle of friends. 

I have a job outside of our home.

We changed our communication within our marriage…I no longer bite my tongue, he listens even when I don’t physically talk, and we talk about the hard stuff.

My/our hope?

That someday when I decide to start over, replant the last pieces of our marriage. 

My full trust.

The last guarded pieces of my heart.

Loving him completely.

I think if done too quickly, the disease would have came back in other forms. 

Someday I’ll get my rose garden back.

I will appreciate them more then.

I will be aware that even the ‘disease resistant’ knockout rOses are vulnerable. 

Next time I’ll know the signs.

And at the first bent stem, diseases leaf?

I will take action to protect my garden. 

In the meantime, I’m looking at Butterfly bushes, maybe a few Lilacs, to fill the void left behind. 

It won’t be the same…but change my sweet friends can be healing. 

“I beg your pardon

I never promised you a rose garden

Along with the sunshine

There’s gotta be a little rain some time

When you take you gotta give so live and let live

Or let go oh-whoa-whoa-whoa

I beg your pardon

I never promised you a rose garden

I could promise you things like big diamond rings

But you don’t find roses growin’ on stalks of clover

So you better think it over

Well if sweet-talkin’ you could make it come true

I would give you the world right now on a silver platter

But what would it matter

So smile for a while and let’s be jolly

Love shouldn’t be so melancholy

Come along and share the good times while we can”

-Lynn Anderson-

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One Response to Rose Garden

  1. pabloswife says:

    What a wonderful post! Love the analogy. Hope you’re doing well my sweet friend. I’m sure you’ll love your new garden xx

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