I got a card in the mail.
My middle son brought it in to me. My heart fell when I saw it. I knew I was going to get it , I get one every single year. The one last year made me bawl like a baby. My husband might have forgotten our anniversary regulary, but my grandma never has. Every single year she sends me a card, with a letter inside.
When I received it last year, I wasn’t for sure if she knew? If she knew of my husband’s affair? If she knew my marriage was a lie? If she knew I was broken? If she knew the fairy tale was over?
She didn’t care. She did care about what had happened, but she didn’t care about all the other stuff. It was her granddaughters anniversary, and she still believed in the marriage so she was going to acknowledge it. She was going to tell us how proud she was of both of us. She was going to support us in our struggle. No matter what.
I love my grandma.
She is the same one who sends me an ornament every year. The one who never judges. The one who loves with her whole heart no matter what. You can screw up, and she is still going to love you.
I might have mentioned God has blessed me with extraordinary people in my life.
She is at the top of that list.
She sent me a card again. I haven’t opened it yet. I know, tuck in your lady balls, Kelly and open the damn card…
My husband tried to throw it out with the junk mail. I caught him and stopped him. It made me cry. My grandma sent me a card and I can’t open it.
My middle son pointed it out last night, and wanted to know “Why the heck we hadn’t opened Grandma’s card?”
I just smiled at him sadly and answered “I just haven’t yet?”
My youngest son wanted to know “Why not? What’s it for?”
My eyes welled up with tears and I told him “My wedding anniversary…”
He got sad, I could tell he was sorry for asking “Oh…” was the only reply he had as he looked away.
I almost opened it today. The house was empty and quiet. I knew I had time for a good cry. I chickened out.
It sits on my counter waiting.
Twenty years of marriage and it was my only gift…well besides “I never said I loved her” Pablo’s Wife’s blog post to me. That was an unexpected and very sweet ‘gift’ to read…and I can’t open the damn card.
maybe tomorrow I will pull up my big girl panties…
I will let you all know…
“Good morning, yesterday
You wake up and time has slipped away
And suddenly it’s hard to find
The memories you left behind
Remember, do you remember
The laughter and the tears
The shadows of misty yesteryears
The good times and the bad you’ve seen
And all the others in between
Remember, do you remember
The times of your life (do you remember)
Reach back for the joy and the sorrow
Put them away in your mind
The mem’ries are time that you borrow
To spend when you get to tomorrow
Here comes the saddest part (comes the saddest part)
The seasons are passing one by one
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
Remember, will you remember
The times of your life”